Use The Science Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

713 Results for Use The Science

View 11 - 20 results for use the science comic strips. Discover the best "Use The Science" comics from Dilbert.com.

Sciencesplainer New

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sciencesplainer   New  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #sarcasm, #business, #sciencesplainer, #meetings, #interrupt, #condescending, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.

Noble Bad Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war

View Transcript

Transcript

boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.

Ghosts Use Bitcoin

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ghosts Use Bitcoin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #money, #die, #ghost, #password, #bitcoin, #clothes

View Transcript

Transcript

boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?

Marketing Complains

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marketing Complains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Common Sense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Common Sense  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #common sense, #request, #specifications, #assumption, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?

Incompetent Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Incompetent Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #bureaucratic, #employees, #incompetent, #inefficiency, #yin, #yang

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.

Inefficiency

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #inefficient, #process, #obsolete, #market, #technology, #multidisciplinary, #systems, #fight, #fire

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.

Dogbert's Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!