Valuable Service Comic Strips - Page 2

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199 Results for Valuable Service

View 11 - 20 results for valuable service comic strips. Discover the best "Valuable Service" comics from Dilbert.com.

Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert

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Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airlines, #air travel, #flight, #overbooking, #customer service

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Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.

Re Accomodation On The Flight

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Re Accomodation On The Flight - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #airlines, #customer service, #overbooking, #flight

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Flight Attendant: The flight is overbooked and our algorithm selected you for re-accommodation. Dilbert: What exactly does "re-accommodation" mean in this context? Oh.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #waiter, #restaurant, #service industry, #impatient, #patience, #complaining

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Waiter: Here are your french fries. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! I have no salt. Waiter: I will bring the salt right away. Dilbert: No, you won't. This isn't my first time eating out! You say you will bring salt, but you will be distracted by another table. I will sit here in anger while I watch you do things that do not involve bringing me salt. As the temperature of my fries drops, my cortisol levels will increase. In five minutes I will hate your guts and this restaurant, too. I also need ketchup. Waiter: That will take a little longer.

Turn Down Service

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Turn Down Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pun, #wordplay, #hotel, #turn-down

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Dilbert: I'd like to decline your turn-down service tonight so I can have some privacy. Voice: We're going to do it anyway. Good luck finding your stuff after we randomly move it. Dilbert: What? You can't do that! I hereby turn down your turn down of your turn-down service! Voice: Say goodbye to your phone charger!

Dilbert Chooses Life

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Dilbert Chooses Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off the grid, #emergency, #hiding, #help, #cell phone, #service, #connection, #nature, #allergy, #reaction, #decision, #technology

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Dilbert: My hiding strategy of going off the grid was working until I ate that berry. If I call for help, the government will find me. If I don't I will die. I choose life! Phone: No service.

Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset

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Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statement, #value, #motivation, #backfire, #praise

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Boss: People are our most valuable asset. Dilbert: I will remind you of that when I ask for a raise. Alice: Me, too. Boss; It blew up in my face.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #customer service, #frustration, #installing drivers, #software, #tech support, #technical support, #technology, #engineering

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Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.

Single Dilbert Is Valuable

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Single Dilbert Is Valuable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #dating, #low standards, #Men, #market value, #single guy, #low bar, #tall, #employed, #height, #relationships

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Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.

Memorial Service For Ted

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Memorial Service For Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #funerals, #memorial, #cake, #ballons, #tasteful, #mime, #pretend, #invisible box, #hire entertainment, #clueless

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Boss: I need you to organize some sort of memorial thing for Fred. Carol: You mean Ted. Boss: I'm thinking cake and balloons in the break room. Is that tasteful enough? Carol: I could hire a mime to pretend he's in an invisible box.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free bus service, #telecommuniting

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Boss: I hired a guy who worked at Google because he said he was driven. Dilbert: Because they have free bus service? Has he shown up for work yet? Boss: I thought he was telecommuting.