Way Of Saying Fired Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for way of saying fired comic strips. Discover the best "Way Of Saying Fired" comics from Dilbert.com.

Be More Like Alice

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Be More Like Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #complain, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

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the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?

Wally And The Management Track

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Wally And The Management Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

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wally: how can i get on the management track? catbert: are you kidding me? catbert: you are the most useless employee i have ever seen. all you do is walk around and bother people who are trying to work. wally: are you saying i can't get on the management track? catbert: i'm saying you're already on it.

Think Of You As Family

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Think Of You As Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #business, #fired, #boarding school

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team meeting in conference room. the boss: i think of all of you as family. dilbert: you fired ted yesterday. the boss: i also sent my son to boarding school. what's your point?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #Food, #friends, #office, #office workers

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Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.

Marketing Lies

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Marketing Lies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #boss, #headphones, #competition, #meeting, #marketing, #lies

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Dilbert: Our new headphones product is better than the competition in every way. Boss: Excellent. I'll get marketing involved to tell a bunch of lies about all of that. Dilbert: Why would they need to lie? Boss: They're kind of set in their ways.

My Last Company

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My Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #employees, #employment, #office, #office workers

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Man: That's not the way we did it at my last company. Dilbert: Now I hate you and I don't want to interact with you in any way in the future. Man: Okay, that sounds just like my last company.

Old Sayings

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Old Sayings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #email, #insult, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #sayings

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Dilbert: I discovered I can insult our boss if I make it sound like an old saying. He thinks all old sayings are wise. Wally: Here he comes. Boss: Did you read my email? Dilbert: A man who sends email has nothing to say.

Lower The Price

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Lower The Price - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #prices, #negotiate

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Dilbert: My boss will yell at me if I don't negotiate a lower price. What can you do for me? Man: I lowered the price by ten percent before I showed it to you. Dilbert: I have no way of verifying your claim. Man: Neither does your boss. Problem solved.

Self Driving Car

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Self Driving Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology, #creepy

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Dilbert: My self-driving car quit on me. Wally: You mean it broke down? Dilbert: No, I mean it left a note and drove away. Wally: Did you wax it enough? Dilbert: I tried, but it kept moaning in a creepy way.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #angry, #business, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Boss: Did you finish the product redesign? Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product. Boss: I don't want any excuses! Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything. Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures. Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do. Boss: You're not doing it right. Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?