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View 11 - 20 results for way of saying fired comic strips. Discover the best "Way Of Saying Fired" comics from Dilbert.com.

Humans Getting Wiser

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Humans Getting Wiser - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #psychology, #humans, #dumb, #selfish, #wise, #interact, #people

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dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

Meeting To Decide When To Meet

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Meeting To Decide When To Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #schedule, #thursday, #berate

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boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?

The Best Way To Succeed

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The Best Way To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #success, #delegate

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boss: the best way to succeed in this world is through hard work dilbert: is that the way you did it? boss: no, i used the second-best way dilbert: which is... boss: making other people work hard

Learning What Doesn't Work

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Learning What Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #project, #fail, #failure, #business

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wally in meeting: my project failed miserably, but i think we can agree we came out ahead. for example, we learned what does not work boss: you? wally: that's one way to look at it.

Filled Bathtub To The Attic

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Filled Bathtub To The Attic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #bathtub, #home, #weekend, #water, #attic, #chimney

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boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Lifestyle Disagreer

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Lifestyle Disagreer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #conversation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #disagreement, #attitude

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Man: I hear what you're saying, and I disagree. Dilbert: Because...? Man: Because what? Dilbert: Do you have any reasons for your disagreement? Man: No, I'm a lifestyle disagreer. I disagree with everyone all the time. The reasons are irrelevant. Dilbert: You sound smart. Man: No. I'm not smart. Dilbert: And you're attractive too. Man: No. I'm ugl...okay, I see what you're doing.

Wally Wears Headphones

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Wally Wears Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #avoidance, #hear, #headphones

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Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.

The Consultant

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The Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #boss, #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #judgement

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Man: ...And that's what I recommend. Boss: I reject your recommendation because it doesn't match what we already decided to do. Man: That's no way to run a business. Boss: Can you refer me to a less judgy consultant?

Scourge Of Teamwork

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Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #help, #insults, #office workers, #work, #teams

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Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.