Wildly Successful Comic Strips - Page 2
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62 Results for Wildly Successful
View 11 - 20 results for wildly successful comic strips. Discover the best "Wildly Successful" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 04,
2018
Tags my value, new assignments, projects, slow walker, rivals in management
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?
Friday November 10,
2017
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him
Tags laziness, deception, invisibility, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.
Monday September 18,
2017
Helping The Boss Be Successful
Tags helpfulness, niceness, kindness
Transcript
Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.
Sunday June 18,
2017
Tags work ethic, laziness, group project
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.
Thursday October 20,
2016
Different Time Estimates
Tags quote, estimate, time, deadline, length, pessimism
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.
Thursday February 11,
2016
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`
Tags posture, mascot, success, hunchback, work ethic, reward
Transcript
CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.
Tuesday October 13,
2015
It Takes More Than Luck
Tags success, intelligence, privilege, nepotism, obliviousness, confusion
Transcript
CEO: Asok, it takes more than luck to be successful. You also have to be smart. Asok: How did you select your level of intelligence before birth? CEO: I don't understand the question. Asok: Now I am getting mixed messages.
Wednesday January 28,
2015
Success Is About Who You Know
Tags blame, blaming, success, who you know
Transcript
Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.
Monday December 29,
2014
Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes
Tags clothing, decision, decision-making, inventions, success, thinking, tube clothes, eliminate decisions, mark zuckerberg, gray t-short, success secrets
Transcript
Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?
Sunday August 31,
2014
Tags ten things, leaders do, nine habits, successful people, article, time management, tricks, good leadership, listening skills
Transcript
Wally: Did you get the link I sent about the ten things all leaders need to do? I also sent you an article about the nine habits of successful people. And I sent you an article about the time management tricks used by successful people. According ti my research. There are 17,429 tricks you need to master to be a good leader. That might seem like a lot. But if you master ten per year, you'll be 1.2% competent by the time you retire. Boss: Why are we having this conversation? Wally: Im going to add "Listening skills" to the list.