With People Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for With People

View 11 - 20 results for with people comic strips. Discover the best "With People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bedraggled People

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New Loyal Customers

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New Loyal Customers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #ceo, #woke, #advertising, #dollars, #loss, #quarter, #offend, #straight face, #botox, #annoying

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ceo: our strategy of being annoyingly woke in our ads caused us to have an eight billion dollar loss this quarter. but it was worth it because sometimes you have to offend some of your customers to make the others loyal. dilbert: how did you say that with a straight face? ceo: no one told you about botox?

Personal Growth

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Personal Growth - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pandemic, #positive, #personal growth, #lockdown, #afraid, #fear, #prison, #life of crime, #attraction, #empathy, #people, #screen faces

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dilbert: one positive thing about the pandemic is all the personal growth i had during the lockdown. for example, i'm no longer afraid of going to prison, so... a life of crime is more attractive than ever. dogbert: did you lose your empathy for other people? dilbert: you mean the screen faces?

I'm Not A Racist

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I'm Not A Racist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #racism, #racist, #woke, #demands, #sacrifice, #spare, #proof

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dilbert: there's a mob of woke people surrounding our building. they demand a human sacrifice. boss: fetch the spare racist i hired for that purpose. male co-worker hanging from a rod outside top level of office tower: i'm not a racist! really i'm not! voice from inside the building: he can't prove that!

Redesign Power Button

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Redesign Power Button - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #engineering, #experience, #managers & supervisors, #mocking, #power button, #redesign, #sarcasm, #team

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boss: can you redesign it so the power button is on the bottom? engineer: absolutely. our professional design team loves it when inexperienced people make suggestions. boss: i can't tell if you're mocking me. engineer: no, you can't.

Disagreement Sides

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Disagreement Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #disagreement, #Opinion, #facts, #agreement, #sides

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tina: i'm having a disagreement with alice, and i want you to side with me. dilbert: how about i make up my own mind based on the facts? tina: that's not going to work for me.

Ted Will Train You

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Ted Will Train You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #training, #absence, #coffee, #helpful, #problem, #successful, #sarcasm

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boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.

Zoom Background Says A Lot

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Zoom Background Says A Lot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #business, #consultant, #video background, #shelves, #sports trophies, #photo, #jesus, #believability, #sarcasm

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dogbert: your video call background needs improvement. i'll fill your shelves with sports trophies, plus photos of you shaking hands with jesus. dilbert: who would believe i shook hands with jesus? dogbert: the same people who will believe you won lots of sports trophies.

Wally Helps The New Guy

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Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #training, #new, #employment

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dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit

Wally The Rebel

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Wally The Rebel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #problem, #authority, #lazy, #rebel, #like it, #business cards, #sarcasm

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boss: wally, you have a problem with authority. wally: wow! i thought i was lazy. but maybe i'm actually a rebel. yes, i like it. can i add it to my business cards? boss yelling: no!