Word Invention Comic Strips - Page 2

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224 Results for Word Invention

View 11 - 20 results for word invention comic strips. Discover the best "Word Invention" comics from Dilbert.com.

Two Step Reorg

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Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, reorganization

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the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

Offensive Product Name

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Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, insults, office, office workers, elbonian

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dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.

It Already Works

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It Already Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, phone, nuclear

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office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.

Nuclear Power Invention

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Nuclear Power Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, office, office workers, nuclear power

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dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, construction, inventions, nature, technology, trees

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Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

First Ai As Smart As Humans

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First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, invention, office workers, robot, technology, logic, conspiracy, humans

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Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.

Resistance Is Futile

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Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, invention, thoughts, computer, commands, individual, part, collective, internet, sexy, resistance, futile

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Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

Device Can Read Minds

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Device Can Read Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, device, read, thoughts, turn, computer, commands, theories, engineer, engineering, invention, nothing, broken

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.

A One Variable World

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A One Variable World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags topper, Dilbert, genius, rejection, variable, cost

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Topper: I reject your idea because the costs are high. Dilbert: In a one-variable world, you would be a genius. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I meant every word of it.

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

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Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, alice, Dilbert, coffee, coffee maker, automatic, invention, manipulation

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Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.