Worse Place Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

209 Results for Worse Place

View 11 - 20 results for worse place comic strips. Discover the best "Worse Place" comics from Dilbert.com.

Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #nervous, #anxious, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm nervous because I need to make a presentation to our CEO. Do you have any advice? Wally: Don't make eye contact with him. He hates that. Asok: You have made things far worse! Wally: He also flies into a rage when he hears the word "the."

Attend A Meeting In My Place

Thank you for voting.
Attend A Meeting In My Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #frivolous, #stand-in, #time management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.

Naming The Spaceship

Thank you for voting.
Naming The Spaceship - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #naming, #space, #space flight, #rocket, #engineering, #failure, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I'm looking for a name for the spaceship that I designed. Dilbert: How about "Death Tube?" Alice: "Space Debris?" Wally: "Final Resting Place?" Ted: I was hoping for something more positive. Voice: We're positive it will explode.

Different Time Estimates

Thank you for voting.
Different Time Estimates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #quote, #estimate, #time, #deadline, #length, #pessimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.

Wally Self Identifies As A Woman

Thank you for voting.
Wally Self Identifies As A Woman - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #trans, #transgender, #gimmick

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I heard that you self-identify as a woman. Wally: No, I don't. Catbert: Well, I need you to do that so the company can be supportive and win some awards for being a great place to work. Dilbert: Because why? Wally: I got my own bathroom.

Wally Pays It Not Forward

Thank you for voting.
Wally Pays It Not Forward - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #philosophy, #life lesson, #gratitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have a philosophy for life? Wally: I try to make the world a better place. Have you heard the phrase, "Pay it forward?" Asok: Yes. Wally: I'm the end of the line for that sequence of events. It saves the rest of you a lot of work.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #capitalism, #big business, #competition, #benefit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company's goal is to make the world a better place. Dilbert: How does that square with our stated goal of destroying our competition? If we succeed, those people will be out of jobs. After we annihilate our competition, we can jack up our prices to monopoly levels and take advantage of our customers. Most of our profits go toward making the rich richer. We don't even pay taxes. Meanwhile, my co-workers and I will be living a life that has been stripped of all meaning. Is that what you had in mind by "Making the world a better place?" CEO: I didn't mean better for everyone.

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

Thank you for voting.
Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #speaking, #conversation, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #false logic, #imagination, #managers, #review, #performance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.

Ted Has A Ravine Option

Thank you for voting.
Ted Has A Ravine Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #empathy, #hr, #human resources, #mean, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.