2016 Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Won't Take No For An Answer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Won't Take No For An Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, honesty, trick, rejection

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you finish this by Friday? I won't take no for an answer. Dilbert: In that case, my answer is yes. Boss: I knew you wouldn't disappoint me. Dilbert: I think we just planned that for Friday.

Dilbert Characters

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

Who's Turn To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who's Turn To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuse, excuses, deadline, lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO stopped by to see how long before we finish the new software. Dilbert: Whose turn is it to lie to him? Boss: I blamed Elbonian hackers last week. Dilbert: You're using all the good ones!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, excuse, illness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a note from my doctor. It says I'm too sensitive to handle criticism. I don't understand all the medical details. It has something to do with the mind-body connection. One minor criticism from you and my lungs will collapse. If that happens, you'll need to pinch my nose, create a seal with your mouth, and reinflate them. Boss: This doctor's note looks like your handwriting. Wally: Ow! My lung!

Asok's Body Double

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Body Double - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arrest, hit man, mistaken identity, body double, doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.

Body Doubles Are People Too

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Body Doubles Are People Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hit man, murder, mistaken identity, doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Cop: Asok, you are under arrest for murdering the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: That's not fair! It wasn't even a real person! It was a body double! Cop: Actually, body doubles are human beings, too. Asok: You're going to arrest me on a technicality?

Asok Has Worst Job In The World

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Has Worst Job In The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hit man, job, happiness, satisfaction, doppelganger, double, lookalike, business, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.

Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Garfield, hit man, cartoonist, mistaken identity

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I killed our spokesperson, Jim Davis, yesterday, as you ordered. Boss: You killed the wrong cartoonist! Asok: Now I hate Mondays even more.

Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, public speaking, embarrassment, spokesperson, killing, racism, assumption, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an "honor killing?" Asok: No, and you're a racist. Boss: Here's what he said on social media. Asok: Okay, I'm in.

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, sociopath, pathology, hit man, murder, killing, morals, emotions

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.