인터넷오션파라다이스게임 ㎫ Ueh821.ｃｏｍ ㎒백경바다이야기게임⌒인터넷오션파라다이스7 게임|오션파라다이스 사이트 게임㎵인터넷바다이야기 게임●오션파라다이스7 사이트◈바다이야기 사이트 최신릴게임사이트┢인터넷 오션파라다이스 게임━ Comic Strips - Page 2
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View 11 - 18 results for 인터넷오션파라다이스게임 ㎫ UEH821.ＣＯＭ ㎒백경바다이야기게임⌒인터넷오션파라다이스7 게임|오션파라다이스 사이트 게임㎵인터넷바다이야기 게임●오션파라다이스7 사이트◈바다이야기 사이트_최신릴게임사이트┢인터넷 오션파라다이스 게임━ comic strips. Discover the best "인터넷오션파라다이스게임 ㎫ Ueh821.ｃｏｍ ㎒백경바다이야기게임⌒인터넷오션파라다이스7 게임|오션파라다이스 사이트 게임㎵인터넷바다이야기 게임●오션파라다이스7 사이트◈바다이야기 사이트 최신릴게임사이트┢인터넷 오션파라다이스 게임━" comics from Dilbert.com.
The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Alice, our records show that you haven't taken a vacation all year." The Boss continues, "Company policy requires you to use your vacation days." Alice says, "How?? You told me to work seven days a week to prepare the project for your boss's year-end review." Alice asks, "Do you want me to meet the artificial project target or the artificial vacation target?" Alice stands up and screams, "Hello!!! These are mutually exclusive goals!!! Hello!!!" Alice says, "Ooh . . . Sorry, I usually just think that last part in silent frustration." The Boss says, "Moving right along . . . Kudos to Wally for using all of his vacation days ahead of schedule." Alice looks furious. Wally says, "Get over it, Alice. We can't all be superstars."
The Boss says to the costumed Asok, "I'm leaving early, in case I have a dental appointment or whatnot." The Boss puts his arm around Asok and says, "Walk amongst the cubicles until 7 p.m. and scowl at anyone who isn't working." Asok stands in Wally's cubicle with a scowl on his face. Wally replies, "Nice scowl. I feel slightly menaced."
Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7
"Human resources tells me that you refused to take the random drug test." "I didn't refuse. I literally can't do it because I have a shy bladder. It's a medical condition that 7% of men have." "I hope you will understand." "It's a side effect of the nose candy, right?"
Boss: And I need it by next week. Dilbert: I will devote 3.7% of my energy to it. I can give you more if you do your job of setting priorities for my 27 projects. Boss: Can't you set the priorities? Dilbert: Sure. This one just went to 1.7%.
"Today I will teach you how to use your incompetence to achieve your goals." "Step 1: Be incompetent. (Also known as 'the easy part.')" "Step 2: Volunteer for the most difficult and important projects" "Step 3: Convince your boss that an enemy within the company is slowing you down." "Step 4: Insist that competent people be pulled off of other projects to help you." "Step 5: Declare yourself the leader of the competent people" "Step 6: Claim credit for the work of the competent people." "Step 7: After you get promoted, fire the competent people to eliminate witnesses."
"Please don't discuss your raise with co-workers." "Whatever." "Let's see how the losers and morons did." "You only got 6%? I got 8%." "9%. Why do you ask?" "7.5%. Anything less would be humiliating." "Well, let me see...I think it was..." "Brace for impact." "8.5%" "GAAA!!" "Has she yet learned why it is a bad idea to discuss her raise with co-workers?" "Sounds like it."
Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."