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View 11 - 20 results for ������5 ������ ���������TALK:PC53������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ comic strips. Discover the best "������5 ������ ���������Talk:Pc53������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert walks by a sidewalk artist who is sitting under a sign that says "Portrait $5.00." Dilbert sits down next to the artist and says, "Make me look smart and sexy." The artist has drawn a portrait of himself. Dilbert says, "It doesn't look like me . . ." The artist asks, "Too sexy?"
A man with a large head answers the door wearing a bathrobe and says, "Uh . . . Hi, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "Hi. I'm here for my first Mensa meeting of geniuses." The man says, "It's at 5 P.M., not 5 A.M." Dilbert walks away thinking, "Bad start."
Dogbert sits at his desk and a businessman sits across from him. Reading from a document, Dogbert says, "I'll invest up to five million dollars if you'll agree to some standard conditions." Dogbert continues, "I will be chairman of the board and own 99% of the company. You will work for free and wash my car twice a week." The businessman asks, "Can I mow your lawn instead of washing your car?" Dogbert answers, "You're a tough bargainer, but I prefer multimedia developers for my gardening needs."
Dilbert, Wally and another man sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert looks at the check and says, "We could simply divide the check by three . . ." The waitress thinks, "Uh-oh. Engineers." Dilbert continues, "But that would result in an unpopular subsidy of Wally's salmon. Does anybody have a calculator-watch?" The caption says, "Hours later." The other engineer says to the waitress as she approaches the table with a pitcher, "This is the tie-breaker round of water to decide if you get 13% or 13.5%." The waitress growls, "RRRR."
Dilbert sits at his computer and Antina appears in the door of his cubicle. Antina is muscular, has short hair and is wearing a tie and a skirt. She says, "Hi, I'm Antina the Non-stereotypical Woman." Antina observes, "That computer monitor you're using is supposed to be 17 inches, but it's more like 16.5 inches." She continues, "I took the coffee machine apart just for fun - want to see?"
Wally reads a contract and asks, "You want me to sign an agreement that I won't work for a competitor for five years if I leave here?" The Boss hands him a pen. Wally says, "No problem. Here you go." The Boss thinks, "This is too easy." Wally sits at his desk and thinks, "I haven't done any work HERE for five years, so how hard could it be?" A computer prompt asks, "New game?"
Dogbert sits on a stool. The panel contains the title, "Dogbert Presents: The Seven Advantages of Being Dumb." The caption says, "1. Impending doom doesn't bother you." Dilbert tells Bob the Dinosaur, "There's a hole in the ozone layer." Bob replies, "Cool!" The caption says, "2. Television is a source of constant wonder." Bob sits in a chair watching tv and thinking, "I wonder if Doogie is a doctor in real life." The caption says, "3. You have a solution for every problem." Bob thinks, "If people are starving in Africa they should move to France." The caption says, "4. You are not constrained by a budget." Bob sits in the driver's seat of a convertible car. He shouts to Dilbert, "It was free! They just make you sign papers!" The caption says, "5. You've seen Elvis . . . Frequently." Bob watches a man walk by and says, "It's the King!" The caption says, "6. Instant replays are as exciting as live action." Bob watches tv and thinks, "This time he could make it." The caption says, "7. You receive twice as many compliments." Dogbert says, "You're kind of the Dan Quayle of dinosaurs." Bob says, "Really?! Wow!"
Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Tax Preparation $5.00." A man enters the office and says, "I need some help . . ." Dogbert says, "Sit down." The man says, "I always fooled around during math classes. Now I can't do my own taxes." Dogbert looks at the form and says, "We can prattle about your inadequacies later." Dogbert says as he fills out the form, "I'll do your taxes and talk at the same time so you really feel dumb." Dogbert continues, "Hmm . . . Simply multiply the standard deviation of the cosine of your depreciation and integrate the resulting polynomial . . . There." Dogbert continues, "According to this, you owe your tax preparer an additional two thousand dollars." A pile of money sits on Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says to the reader, "Confusion - it works for the IRS and it can work for you."
Dogbert sits at his desk under a sign that says, "I will listen to your sad story $5.00." A man enters and says, "I have a sad story." Dogbert says, "Sit down." The man continues, "I was a world renowned monkey trainer." The man continues, "I had it all: fame, money, beautiful family." The man continues, "Then I discovered that the monkeys were plotting against me." The man continues, "They embezzled all of my money and kidnapped my wife." The man covers his eyes and says, "Then my wife fell in love with their leader, Bing-Bong." Dogbert laughs. The man asks, "Were you laughing?" Dogbert hands money to the man and says, "Here's my five bucks. Thanks."