Asok Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

943 Results for Asok

View 11 - 20 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man hating supervisor, #fired, #being a man, #happy to be man, #dances, #asok happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. Asok is sitting at his desk. The supervisor approaches and says, "You're being fired for being a man." Asok replies, "No one has ever called me a man before! This is the happiest day of my life!" Asok dances around and shouts, "I'm a MAN!" The supervisor exclaims, "Stop enjoying life!!"

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celan desk award, #winner, #facilities people, #appeared unused, #higher tax bracket, #asok, #intern, #desk, #took desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to Asok and says, "Asok is the winner of the $25 'Clean Desk Award.'" Asok responds, "Yesterday the facilities people took my desk because it appeared to be unused." Asok sits on the floor in his cubicle. He thinks, "I hope this doesn't bump me into a higher tax bracket."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #40 hours, #everyone, #likes asok, #minute old, #new system, #work one computer, #extreme programming

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asok, #intern, #indian institute of technology, #30 years in box, #punished to box

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Asok, you have violated the Indian Institute of Technology's ban on the use of telekinesis in the ungifted world." Man says, "Your punishment is 30 years in the box." Dilbert says, "Where were you this morning?" Asok The Intern says, "Grrrrr"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prototype, #killed asok, #clone, #reincarnate, #snack jar, #snicker, #feel nuts

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your prototype killed Asok. That means it is your job to clone him and hope he reincarnates into the clone." "Carol used his DNA container for a snack jar, so be careful." "Why do I feel nuts?" "You're part snickers bar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new faces, #introductions, #asok the intern, #signed to everyone, #conference room, #upsetting introductions

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "I see some new faces, let's go around the table and introduce ourselves." Asok starts, "I'm Asok, the intern." Asok points to The Boss and says, "I report to you." Asok points to Alice and says, "But I also report to Alice on a dotted line." Asok points to Carol and says, "And I report to Carol, on a fuzzy, thin line." Asok continues, "I have a blinking, irregular line to Wally, and a wavy, brown line to Dilbert." Alice begs, "Please... make this stop." Asok continues, "And a disturbing, imaginary line to a food-service cashier who touched my hand while giving me change."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hardening, #given more work, #central nervous system, #suddenly stiff, #ripening asok, #apathy cream, #air hole

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "Would you like to join me for a hardening?" Catbert asks, "What's that?" The Boss explains, "A hardening is when an employee is given more work than his central nervous system can handle." The Boss holds his arms out stiffly and says, "His whole body suddenly goes stiff." Catbert says, "I'm in." The Boss says, "I've been ripening Asok all month." Catbert says, "Purrr purrr." The Boss and Catbert look at Asok as he sits as his computer and thinks to himself, "So much work... no time." The Boss, handing Asok a piece of paper, says, "Asok, I have another assignment for you." Asok responds, "Gaaa!!!" Wally and Dilbert peer over Asok's cubicle. Wally says, "I heard a hardening. Get the Apathy Cream." A solid mask of Apathy Cream has been applied to Asok's face. Wally says, "He'll be okay when the apathy sinks in." Dilbert says, "We forgot the air hole."

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #diversification, #investment, #obliviousness, #stock market, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

Asok The Stock Picking Genius

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok The Stock Picking Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day trader, #greed, #investing, #luck, #money, #stock market, #stocks

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.

Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #experience, #stock market, #lost savings, #past perfromance, #further returns, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.