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The Boss sits at his desk and says, "Dilbert, I've decided to downsize you." The Boss continues, "It's nothing personal, just an economic necessity." Dilbert tugs nervously at his necktie. The Boss says, "I calculated how much your salary was dragging down the value of my stock options." The Boss continues, "Without you, I can afford to go to the movies one additional time per year." The Boss continues, "And let's face it: recreation is important when one has a stressful job." Dilbert waves his arms and says sarcastically, "Hey, why don't you downsize Wally instead. You'll save enough in office supplies to buy popcorn too. Sheesh!" The Boss thinks, "Mmm . . ." Wally asks Dilbert, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "You know that team-building exercise we did last week? It didn't take."
The caption says, "The Budget Trap." The Boss says, "I need a quick estimate for how much your next project will cost, Wally." Wally replies, "How should I know? You haven't even told me what my next project is." The Boss says, "That's okay. I only need a rough estimate for planning purposes." Wally says, "I see where this is going. You're going to turn my wild guess into a budget. Later I'll be blamed when it's wrong." The Boss replies, "No, no. I won't hold you to these numbers." Wally says, "Well . . . Okay, let's say two million dollars." The Boss says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Can't afford that. I'll put you down for twenty thousand dollars." The caption says, "One year later . . ." The Boss sits at his desk and says to Wally, "You're way over budget. Can you show me the cause?" Wally replies, "It depends. Can mirrors reflect your image?"
Wally hands Dilbert and Alice a document. Wally says, "Here's your list of fake acronyms for the staff meeting." Wally says, "Try to keep a straight face when you use them." The Boss puts his hand on a stack of paper and says, "I've got a few action items. Who isn't busy?" Wally replies, "I'd be all over it but I need to prepare a BTR for the CPD meeting." Alice says, "I'd love to help but this is XRP week for the entire LBQ." Dilbert says, "My SP00 has too much fleem." Alice growls at Dilbert and Wally glares at him. Dilbert asks, "What?" They carry stacks of documents out of the conference room. Wally says, "That was smooth." Dilbert replies, "Hey, if I could lie I'd be in marketing."
Dilbert is with his Mom. She is drinking tea. She asks Dilbert: "Did you do any action items this week?" Dilbert answers: "I gathered costs for a strategy we had already decided not to use." Dilbert's Mom says: "That helps the Ol' GNP." Dilbert tells her: "I'm not giving back your tuition money."
Dilbert asks Catbert, "Do you have any advice for my job interview?" Catbert says to Dilbert, "Try juggling the items on his desk. It will make you seem confident." The interviewer has been knocked senseless in his desk chair. Dilbert, holding various desk items in his hands, says, "Sorry."
A Hollywood type says into the telephone, "Hello.. Yes, I'd like to buy a rave review for my new movie." Dogbert, on the other end of the line, replies, "Can you afford the 'suspenseful thrill ride' or would you like something more in the 'delightful' price range." The man responds, "I'm releasing it on New Year's Day, Can you give me a price for 'Best Comedy So Far This Year?'"
Dilbert, Alice, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "My fantasy is to own a luxury motor coach." Wally continues, "I'd drive it to work and sleep all day in the parking lot. It would be like paradise." Dilbert responds, "That's your best fantasy?" Wally says, "It would also have a TV, in case I woke up."
Carol: You're still alive?? How can the sbe?? The Boss: What? Carol: Nothing! Never Mind! I don't know anything about a deadly plot! Its his own fault for not paying me enough to afford entertainment. Alice ; good one.
"Tina, I want you to write our annual report." "How should I explain our poor results?" "Just give it a positive spin." "If you have to ask why our stock keeps plummeting, you can't afford us."