Alice Needs To Talk Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Alice Needs To Talk

View 11 - 20 results for alice needs to talk comic strips. Discover the best "Alice Needs To Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1998's comic on:


Tags #annual inspirational talk, #work hard, #competition, #feel afraid, #quality of lives, #too afraid, #management incompetetnce

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands in casual clothes and says, "It's time for my annual inspirational talk." The Boss says, "We must work twice as hard, or the competition will crush us!" Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in front of the Boss as he continues, "I want you to feel afraid twenty-four hours a day." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: wouldn't hat lower the quality of our lives?" Wally says, "Seems like it might." Wally continues, "I'm too afraid to work here now. I wonder if our competitor's are hiring?" Alice raises her hand and asks, "Question: should we continue to be afraid of our own management's incompetence?" The Boss replies, "Let's compromise. I'll agree to cut the meeting short if you'll all agree to feel worse in some way." The Boss leaves the meeting and thinks, "No I remember why I only inspire them once a year."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint slides, #ceos visit, #needs to fix

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Have you finished your 'powerpoint' slides for the CEO's visit?" Alice responds, "Yes. I'm focusing on all the things we do wrong. Because that's what he needs to fix." The Boss' jaw drops. Alice continues, "Just kidding, there's no useful information." The Boss replies, "Don't joke!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #80 hour week, #crazy talk, #less work, #loofah, #evil director, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #stressful project, #worst thing, #pep talk, #jumped window, #imprint on window screen

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Alice, I hear that your project is stressful." "Sometimes it helps if you ask yourself: what's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert: "How'd the pep talk go?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #facial expression, #fear, #scare away the weak, #too busy, #too talk, #i said no

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm working on a new facial expression to scare away the weak. Want to see it? Dilbert: No. Gaaa!!! Alice: That one means I'm too busy to talk. Dilbert: I said no! I said no! I said no!

Alice Should Network With Men

Thank you for voting.
Alice Should Network With Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #sexism, #Women, #sexist, #attraction, #success, #glass ceiling

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.

Wally Covers For Alice

Thank you for voting.
Wally Covers For Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #alice, #heat, #thousand suns, #vacation, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm back from vacation. Did you have any problems covering for me? Wally: No problem at all I saved all of your work for when you got back. Alice: I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns! Wally: How was your vacation? Was it relaxing?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #managers & supervisors, #portal, #parallel uiverse, #more prodcutive, #universe, #cops, #alice killed boss, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gloating, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #alice in charge, #better than, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Our pointy haired boss put me in charge while he's gone. Thats proof that Im better than you...and you...and you...and you... and you. Oh look: thats the only thing on my agenda!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #conversation, #failed to hold attention, #resist turge, #check email

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Your topic of conversation has failed to hold my attention. I can no longer resist the urge to check my email while you talk. You'd better not be emailing me now. Dilbert: This isn't over.