Alice Punches Wally Comic Strips - Page 2
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Alice, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. Alice and Wally blab on. Ted thinks, "I haven't talked yet, but all the good points have been taken." Ted says, "We must make sure our momentum aligns with our value-added distribution!" Alice says, "That was just babble, right?" Ted says, "All the good ones were taken."
Dilbert approaches Dogbert and asks, "Wally's in jail. Can you help get him out?" Dogbert answers, "Tell him to try the door. The guards only pretend to lock them." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit in the break room eating lunch. Wally says, "But I'd have to say it was the lifers who were the most embarassed."
The boss standsa at a podium dressed in a costume that includes a large blimp attached to his head. The boss says, "Welcome..." The boss says, "To our annual employee meeting." Dilbert, Alice and Wally dressed in casual clothes listen. The boss says, "Our theme this year is "The hindenburg." The boss says, "...which I'm told was a famous cigar shaped balloon." The boss says, "Let's all thank Alice for choosing the theme and planning the event. Wally and Dilbert clap. The boss says, "Now please enjoy this film clip of the Hindenberg" The boss watches shocked. From the TV, "AAAgh! The humanity!" Wally says, "He's coming for you. Detonate his costume." Alice who holds a radio control says, "One, two..."
Wally: We should have a private lactation room like other companies. Alice: Yes, we should. Boss: No one in my group is nursing a baby. Wally: What about visitors? Alice: Right. Wally: Thanks for helping me get my man cave at the office. Alice: What?
The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Welcome to the four hour . . ." The Boss yells, "Meeting from HELL!!" He laughs diabolically. Dilbert thinks, "That's rarely a good sign."
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "I just lost the subtle mental connection between my performance and my salary." Dilbert continues thinking, "I get paid the same no matter what I do. I can stand here and flick my fingers and still get paid." As he flicks his fingers, Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Do you realize what this means??!" Wally says, "Hey! You're getting paid for that!"
Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit around a conference table. Dilbert says, "As you know, I've been promoted to team leader." Alice asks, "Will you decide raises? Do you approve expenses? Do you fire people?" Dilbert answers "No" to all three questions. Dilbert says, "I'm a leader. Not a manager."
Alice tells Wally and Dilbert, "I'm terrified about my performance review tomorrow." Alice continues, "Men have it easier. You've been conditioned by years of rejection and general disdain." Wally responds, "We're lucky that way." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document to a male worker sitting across from him. The Boss says, "Overall, I rated your performance as 'simian.'" The worker responds, "Thanks!"
The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like everybody to turn to the right and say what you admire about that person." The Boss turns to Alice, who is on his left, and says, "I admire your leathery skin, Alice." Alice responds, "I admire your ability to figure out which side is your RIGHT in only two tries." Dilbert faces Dogbert on his right and says, "I admire your ability to get paid for this." Wally says to Dilbert, "Despite the fact your face scares children, I admire your co-workers."
Ted is at his baby shower with Dilbert, Alice and Wally. He has just opened a present and says, "Oh look, it's a stapler . . ." Ted continues, "I can use this to take up the hem on the lovely handcrafted paper bag dress that Dilbert made." Looking at the stapler, Ted comments, "It looks just like the one that disappeared from my cubicle this morning." Wally says, "Except yours had staples."