Search Results for "bag of meat"
Share October 05, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a chair and Dilbert lies on a couch. Dogbert says, "You are in a deep sleep . . . Now, while under hypnosis you can draw the aliens who abducted you." Dogbert whispers, "Hint: they all look exactly like 'E.T.'" No longer hypnotized, Dilbert looks at a drawing and says, "Wow! I drew that??" Dogbert says, "They usually come back for you. Better keep a bag packed."
Share July 19, 1995's comic on:
At lunch, Dilbert says to Wally, "I don't know what kind of gift to buy for Ted's baby shower." Wally responds, "Hand-crafted items are good. Cut three holes in a paper bag and you've got a lovely baby dress." Dilbert says, "He might think I'm cheap." Wally holds up the table's salt shaker and asks, "Do you think the kid has a salt shaker yet?"
Share July 20, 1995's comic on:
Ted is at his baby shower with Dilbert, Alice and Wally. He has just opened a present and says, "Oh look, it's a stapler . . ." Ted continues, "I can use this to take up the hem on the lovely handcrafted paper bag dress that Dilbert made." Looking at the stapler, Ted comments, "It looks just like the one that disappeared from my cubicle this morning." Wally says, "Except yours had staples."
Share August 15, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert waving his arms. Dilbert says, "The dehumanization of my job has rendered me invisible to humans. Only you can see me, Dogbert." Dilbert asks, "How can we fix this?" Dogbert replies, "You could wear a bag on your head when you're around me." Dilbert clenches his fists and answers, "That's not the fix I had in mind." Dogbert responds, "It's not a perfect solution. I'd still be able to hear you."
Share January 18, 1996's comic on:
The caption says, "Dogbert meets with software developers." Dogbert sits at a table with a laptop that is hooked up to an overhead projector. Dogbert says, "Note the huge market for software that runs on the 'Dogbert 2000' operating system." Dogbert reaches into a bag and says, "But who cares? The important thing is that I brought a bag of toys." As the software developers play with the toys, Dogbert thinks, "Some say the computer industry is built on silicon. I think foam and plastic are equally important."
Share December 26, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert stands at the Happy Airlines check-in counter. He hands the ticket agent a sack and says, "This bag contains all the mail you've sent me about my 'Often Flier' status." Dilbert continues, "I'll trade everything in the bag for a seat upgrade. I'm currently assigned to an overhead bin." The woman looks in the bag and says, "Okay." Dilbert hands his boarding pass to an agent and thinks, "Whew! Disaster has been averted." The man standing behind Dilbert holds two infants. He asks the woman behind him, "Are you guys going to the colicky baby convention too?"
Share December 27, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert sits in a taxi cab holding his suitcase. A doorman opens the door and says, "Welcome to the hotel, allow me to touch your bag so you'll feel obligated to tip me." Dilbert hugs his bag and walks past three bellmen. He thinks, "I've got to make it through the gauntlet of bag-losing hotel zombies." The hotel employees think about money as they reach for his bag. Dilbert stands at the counter and says to a woman, "No room?!! I have a reservation!!" The clerk replies, "Oh, that's original." A bellhop reaches for Dilbert's luggage.
Share April 19, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, come look at our new car!" They stand next to an automobile. Dilbert says, "It has all of the most important safety features." Dilbert continues, "You got your anti-lock brakes, your reinforced bumpers, your automatic seatbelts and your driver-side air bag." Dogbert says, "I didn't hear 'passenger side air bag' in that list." Dilbert says, "It turns out that it's only economical to save the person who makes the buying decision." Dilbert says, "But I got a baby seat in case you want to use that." Dogbert says angrily, "Well, thank you for letting me choose between humiliation and death. I've got a better idea." Dogbert drives the car and Dilbert sits in the passenger seat. Dilbert says, "Ooh . . . Just wait until MY turn." Dogbert says, "Watch me ram that car."
Share June 14, 1992's comic on:
A small building is marked, "Dogbert's Confess-O-Rama." One door is labeled, "Employees Only" and the other is labeled, "Sinners." Dogbert sits on one side of a confessional and a man sits on the other. The man says, "Dogbert, I have sinned." The man continues, "I was going to make chocolate chip cookies . . ." The man continues, "But I made the mistake of tasting a chocolate chip right from the bag." The man continues, "Before I knew it, I had scarfed the entire bag of chips!" Dogbert says, "For penance you must make a little dunce hat from old "Cathy" comic strips . . ." Dogbert continues, "Then wear the little hat while dancing naked on your lawn with the sprinklers on." The man says, "Thank you, Dogbert." Dogbert turns to the reader and says, "It's so rewarding to be able to give something back to the community."
Share July 12, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands in front of a display case in a jewelry store. The salesclerk asks, "Are you interested in our diamond jewelry?" Dogbert says, "Let me see if I understand the concept here . . ." Dogbert says, ". . . I would give you thousands of dollars, and in return . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . You would give me a pebble you found on the ground." The salesman says, "These are no ordinary pebbles. Diamonds are very rare." Dogbert replies, "Rare? That's only because you made a marketing decision to restrict the supply." The clerk scoops some diamonds into a sack and says, "Okay, okay, you figured us out. I'll give you a free bag of diamonds if you'll go away and keep quiet." Dogbert walks on the sidewalk carrying a bag. He says, "Great . . . Now I'm a party to this ugly little secret."