Bald Man Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for Bald Man

View 11 - 20 results for bald man comic strips. Discover the best "Bald Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbage man, #election, #campaign, #strategist, #Win, #promise, #sell, #foreigners, #profits, #parks

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The garbage man says to Dogbert, "Sure, Dogbert, I'll be your election campaign strategist." The garbage man sits at a table with Dogbert and Ratbert. The garbage man says, "You can win if you promise to sell our national parks to foreigners and share the profits." Dogbert replies, "I couldn't do that." The garbage man asks, "You couldn't sell the parks?" Dogbert replies, "I couldn't share the profits."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Men, #combing, #ear, #hair, #bald, #spot, #head, #method, #talk

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A man says, "Hey, that's a good technique: combing your ear hair over the bald spot!" The man continues, "I've been working on the eyebrows-combed-over-the-head method." The man with the ear hair thinks, "Somebody should talk to that man."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #the boss, #consultant, #clarify, #company, #policy, #discrimination, #unpopular, #religions, #short, #bald, #fat, #handicapped

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The Boss tells Dilbert and several co-workers, "I've hired a consultant to clarify our company policy on discrimination." Dogbert says, "It is against policy to discriminate based on race, sex, age, handicap or religion." A man raises his hand and asks, "Does that include unpopular, little religions?" Dogbert replies, "No, those are considered cults; you may discriminate freely against them." A woman raises her hand and asks, "What about short, bald, fat, ugly men? Are they considered 'handicapped'?" Dogbert replies, "Technically, no. You can still tease them and deny them promotions as usual." Dogbert continues, "Likewise, you may discriminate against nerds, smokers, and single people." Dogbert continues, "And we've dropped 'stupid people' from the watch list, as their lobbying efforts proved ineffective . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #after merger, #reduce staff, #redundant, #employees, #evaluated, #buying company, #bald guy, #steal office furniture, #business

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Alice, Wally, Dilbert and a man from the buying company sit at a conference table. The man says, "After the merger, we'll reduce staff in areas that are redundant." Wally says, "I hope the employees of this company will be evaluated fairly compared to those in the buying company." The man says, "We already have a bald guy." Dilbert asks, "Does your steal office furniture, too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anti rust, #bald, #big field, #butterfly turned opera singer, #car dealer, #data compression, #dream analysts, #extended warranty, #new algorythm, #running against wind, #sealant, #serious money

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Someone reaches for a door labeled "Dogbert's Dream Analysis." Dogbert and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "I was in a big field full of tofu and carburetors." Dogbert says, "It means you're a gullible moron. That's $25 please." A woman tells Dogbert, "Then I was running, running, running against the wind." Dogbert replies, "That means you're ugly." Wally tells Dogbert, "Then the butterfly turned into an opera singer." Dogbert says, "That means you're bald." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Suddenly I saw a new algorythm for data compression." Dogbert replies, "It means you're boring." The Boss tells Dogbert, "Then I told the car dealer I wanted the anti-rust sealant, the extended warranty and the lease option." The Boss asks, "What do you think it means?" Dogbert replies, "It means I'm going to make some serious money today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invented first web browser, #garbage man, #flashback, #computer, #waiting fro nothing, #out of hand, #blame on college kid, #technology

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert is wearing a sweatshirt. Dilbert asks, "Are you telling me that YOU invented the first Web browser?" Dogbert replies, "Not alone. I worked with our garbage man." The caption says, "Flashback." Dogbert sits on a garbage can and tells the garbage man, "I wonder how long people would sit in front of a computer waiting for nothing." The garbage man replies, "Let's find out!" They sit at a computer. The garbage man asks, "What if this thing gets out of hand?" Dogbert replies, "We'll blame it on some drunken college kid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #homemaking skills, #marry a man, #garbageman, #present value cash flow, #comparison, #trained monkeys, #monkey surplus, #bobby upset

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Alice is walking outside, she approaches The Garbageman and asks, "Would it be wrong to marry a man for his homemaking skills?" The Garbageman replies, "Do a present-value cash-flow comparison of marriage versus the equivalent service from trained monkeys." Bobby is sobbing. Alice consoles him, "It's not you.. it's me... and a world wide oversupply of monkeys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #powerpoint proboscis, #medical condition, #nose grows, #long nose, #lie, #pinocchio, #garbage man, #Advice, #corporate whistle-blower, #nose through garbage bag

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Asok says, "My nose grows when my co-workers tell lies." Garbage man says, "Does it whistle?" Asok says, "Sometimes, a little bit." Garbage man says, "You're evolving into a corporate whistle-blower." Asok says, "Are you lying?" Garbage man says, "Yeah, I just wanted to see it."

Wally Gets A Man Cave

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Wally Gets A Man Cave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nursing, #babies, #man cave, #deception, #children, #office policy, #Family

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Wally: We should have a private lactation room like other companies. Alice: Yes, we should. Boss: No one in my group is nursing a baby. Wally: What about visitors? Alice: Right. Wally: Thanks for helping me get my man cave at the office. Alice: What?

Wally Goes To His Man Cave

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Wally Goes To His Man Cave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lactation, #man cave, #nursing, #deception, #baby, #trick

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Wally: I secretly turned our unused lactation room into my man cave. Dilbert: What if someone sees you go in? Tina: You said only once, right? Wally: Once per day.