Bank Off Head Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Bank Off Head

View 11 - 20 results for bank off head comic strips. Discover the best "Bank Off Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #let me telecommute, #called in sick, #total days off, #working for nothing, #ahead in principle, #stupidity is principle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, who is wearing a bathrobe, tells Dogbert, "I convinced my boss to let me telecommute." Dogbert asks, "How?" Dilbert replies, "Well, technically, I called in sick, which comes out of my time bank for total days off." Dilbert continues, "So, technically, I'm working for nothing, but I'm ahead in principle." Dogbert says, "WAY ahead, now that stupidity is a principle."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personal gopher, #special unifrom, #show status

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits behind his desk while Ted stands directly across from him. Dogbert says, "I need a personal 'gopher.' Are you interested?" Ted answers, "Sure!" Dogbert says, "Good. You'll wear a special uniform and a have a special office to show your status." Ted dressed in a gopher outfit stands in hole next to Dogbert's desk. Dogbert tosses a crumpled piece of paper that bounces off Ted's head. There are several pieces of crumpled paper on floor surrounding Ted. Dogbert says, "Sheesh. I haven't made a bank shot yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bred, #work in cubicle, #personal life, #stealing, #good square meal, #square head

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, this is Rex Tangle, our newest employee." Rex is completely square, with flat sides to his head and torso. The Boss says, "Rex was specially bred to work in a cubicle." Wally says, "Looks like he'll fit right in." The Boss says, "Ask him about his personal life." Wally says, "Rex, how's your personal life?" Rex says, "I don't have one. That would be like stealing from the company." A little heart showing love floats above The Boss's head. Wally and Rex walk off. Wally asks, "So, do you eat lunch?" Rex says, "I would enjoy a good square meal." Dilbert and alice are sitting in the company cafeteria eating their lunches. Wally says, "Meet the future." Rex says, "Hello, you round pegs!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Opinion, #words in face, #pot over head, #wipe, #damp cloth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "That's my opinion." Dilbert's words fly across the room towards the boss' teflon pan head. The words drip across the boss' head. The boss says, "Nie try, but I can wipe it off with a damp sponge!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great turnaround ceo, #turn around, #head in hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok comes up to the new CEO sitting at his desk and who looks like the devil and says, "Everyone says you're a great turnaround CEO." Asok continues, "What does it take to turn around a company like this one?' Asok is walking off, holding his head under his arm and the head is thinking, "I guess it's better to not be noticed the first month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dot com ceo, #no profit, #laid off, #laid off means, #compliment, #baby bottle, #youngsters, #meeting, #firing people, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

DILBERT: DOT-COM CEO: Dilbert sits at the head of a table and children sit in seats around the table. One of the children has a baby bottle at his place. Dilbert says, "We have no profit now and we never will. You're all laid off." The child with the baby bottle asks, "Does anyone know what laid off means?" A young man says, "It must be a compliment." The young man says to Dilbert, "You're pretty laid off yourself, dude." The child offers his baby bottle to Dilbert and says, "Want a hit of this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor of layoffs, #nope, #friday, #monday, #day off, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted approaches the Boss' desk and asks, "I heard a rumor that there might be layoffs on Friday. Is it true?" The Boss shakes his head and signals with his arms. He says, "Absolutely not. No way. Nope. Negatory. No, no, no, no, no." Ted says, "Great. Can I take off Friday?" The Boss looks away guiltily and says, "Monday would be better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #giant magnifying glass, #death ray, #too warm, #head too warm

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Alice, "Alice, I understand you've been using a giant magnifying glass as a death ray in the office." Alice responds, "It's not a death ray, I use it only to burn off toupees." Catbert replies, "Oh.. that's okay." A co-worker asks Dilbert, "Is your head too warm? My toupee is too warm."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spouses get benefits, #marry each other, #fluorescent light, #walls head, #director of hr, #save money

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the evil director of HR "Married employees cost us more because spouses get benefits." "If we can get our employees to marry each other we'll save money." "Have you ever noticed how the fluorescent light glistens off of Wally's head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #topper versus alice, #secret government, #sleep deprived, #slept since febraury, #punch, #rip head, #vulgar

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper versus Alice "I didn't get much sleep last night." "That's nothing." "I'm part of a secret government test on sleep deprivation. I haven't slept since February." "I so want to punch you right now." "That's nothing. I'll rip off my own head and make me eat it."