Beginning Of Decline Comic Strips - Page 2
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24 Results for Beginning Of Decline
View 11 - 20 results for beginning of decline comic strips. Discover the best "Beginning Of Decline" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 09,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #scientific, #test, #women's institution, #Number, #5.`362894, #love, #numbers
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert performs a scientific test of so-called 'women's intuition.'" Dogbert and a woman sit at a table. Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten." The woman says, "5.1362894 . . . No, I'll say three." Dogbert says, "Wrong! The answer is 5.1362894 . . . I'm beginning to wonder if you're really a woman."
Saturday October 19,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #five, #letter, #Word, #idiot, #five-letter, #will, #Crossword, #puzzle
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table doing a crossword puzzle. Dilbert says, "What's a five-letter word beginning with 'I' . . ." Dilbert continues, "That means 'an idiot who doesn't know a five-letter word for idiot that starts with "I"?'" Dogbert replies, "Idiot." Dilbert asks, "Will that fit?"
Tuesday May 24,
1994
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #project, #cooler, #acronym, #joke, #anticipated, #beginning, #binders, #fulfilling, #Dogbert, #job
Transcript
"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."
Wednesday May 25,
1994
Tags #canceling project, #cooler acronym, #anticipated move, #carry empty binders, #less fullfilling
Transcript
"I'm cancelling your project so I can give your funding to a project that has a much cooler acronym." "Ha! The joke's on you! I anticipated this move from the beginning and have done nothing but carry empty binders for weeks!" "Being good at your job is less fulfilling than you might think, Dogbert."
Monday December 02,
1996
Tags #metric, #project, #growth rate, #time zone, #favorable, #working smater, #not harder, #new paradignm
Transcript
Wally, Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally points to a diagram and says, "This metric shows an excellent trend in the number of days since the beginning of my project." Wally continues, "That growth rate compares favorably with the best companies in our time zone." As they walk away, Wally tells Dilbert, "I'm working smarter, not harder." Dilbert says, "It's a whole new paradigm."
Monday February 24,
1997
Tags #promise the customer, #build in month, #timing probelm, #shifting blame, #engineering, #spending huge bonus, #blame transfer
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. A salesman tells them, "I had to promise the customer we could build the thing in a month even though you said it was impossible." The salesperson continues, "I'll solve the timing problem by shifting blame to engineering while spending the huge bonus I got for the sale." Dilbert says, "Your planning has improved." The man closes his eyes and says, "Beginning blame transfer now . . ." The other people at the table growl.
Monday November 17,
1997
Tags #changing, #job titles, #non technical, #sec group, #second class citizens
Transcript
The Boss says, "Tina, we're changing the job titles of all non-technical people." The Boss says, "Collectively, you'll be known as our S.C.C. Group." Tina says, "I like the sound of it - very dignified. We were beginning to feel like second class citizens. What's SCC stand for?"
Tuesday November 17,
1998
Tags #experimental medical procedures, #unicron, #antidepressant, #therapy, #instructions, #will make laugh, #psychology
Transcript
The Boss pionts a big ray gun like machine at Alice, Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "Our new line of business is testing experimental medical procedures on employees." Alice, Dilbert and Wally look shocked. The Boss says, "Today's test is called the unicorn antidepressant therapy." The Boss fiddles with the machine. The Boss says, "According to the instructions, in a few minutes, I'll see something that will make me laugh." Alice looks upward at a bump beginning to grow on her forhead. Dilbert and Wally put their hands to their brows.
Thursday April 22,
2010
Tags #meeting, #definition of success, #slowing of failure, #rate of doing nothing, #improve, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "The company is happy to annouce that compaired to previous years, we improved our rate of revenue decline." The Boss says, "We've been doing great since we redefined success as a slowing of failure." The Boss says, "Moving on. Who has a status report?" Wally says, "I improved my rate of doing nothing."
Thursday August 26,
2010
Tags #meeting, #drink coffee, #forget, #morning person, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "I've already forgotten everything that was said at the beginning of this meeting." SLURP Wally says, "I used to think I wasn't a morning person, but things never got better after lunch."
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