Best Policy Comic Strips - Page 2

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411 Results for Best Policy

View 11 - 20 results for best policy comic strips. Discover the best "Best Policy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #announcements, #committee decided, #file naming, #month, #year, #day, #space, #temperature, #airport, #hat size, #long meeting, #best work

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Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #health insurance, #reduce expenses, #radiation dosimeters, #wrongness, #policy

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Boss: The company is trying to reduce expenses, so you need to pay for your own radiation dosimeters. Dilbert: We'll just stare at you until you understand the wrongness of that policy. Boss: Still nothing. One hour later

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #language, #best shore, #off shore, #some countries, #better than others, #racists

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Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #questioning, #best plan, #ignorant nusinace, #meeting, #business

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Boss: This is the best plan in the world, and anyone who disagrees is an ignorant nuisance. Now I'll open it up for comments. Anyone? Anyone? Wally: I'd like to thank you for shortening this meeting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #hypocrisy, #open door policy, #suggestions, #not importnat, #extra work

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Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best decison, #conference room, #listed reasons, #review, #thinking, #vendor, #work, #writing

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Man: Why are you picking this vendor? Dilbert: I listed the four reasons. Individually, each reason would not be compelling. But viewed as a whole, this is the best decision. This first reason is weak. Dilbert: And here we go.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dieting & weight control, #funerals, #bereavement policy, #days off, #dies young, #grocery shop, #conflict

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Carol: I've been reading our bereavement policy and I found a problem. I get three days off if my husband eats nothing but unhealthy food and dies young. And I'm the one who does our grocery shopping. Boss: Sounds like a conflict of interest. Carol: I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #economic policy, #Opinion

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert reads the newspaper and asks, "What do you think about this new Soviet policy of openness?" Dogbert replies, "Actually, I'm not even sure that Gorbachev exists." Dogbert continues, "Guess I'm just kinda 'glasnostic.'" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't let you drink coffee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #brainella, #smart, #intimidated, #dated, #woman, #outfit, #best

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Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #transferred, #marketing, #barbeque, #unicorn, #rare, #best, #part

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Dilbert stands in a barbecue line holding a plate. The man in front of him says, "Every Tuesday we barbecue a unicorn." The man says, "Make mine rare. Ha ha! Get it? Rare?" Dilbert looks at the horn on his plate and thinks, "I'm not sure I believe this is the 'best part.'"