Better Professional Comic Strips - Page 2
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Dilbert looks at his shirt sleeve and thinks, "Loose thread." Dilbert grabs the thread and thinks, "I can't remember if it's better to cut these or just yank on them." Dilbert yanks the thread and his head collapses into his shirt.
Dogbert sits on his pillow humming. Dilbert sneaks up behind Dogbert and says, "Boo!" Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "Eeek!" Dogbert sits on an examining table with his ears still standing straight up. The doctor says, "The good news is you'll handle better on corners . . ."
Dilbert and Wally walk toward each other in the hallway. Dilbert thinks, "Collision course . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . We'll both veer in the same direction, then the other. He'll say something studpid, like 'Shall we dance?'" Dilbert ducks and Wally trips over him. Dilbert thinks, "This method isn't much better."
Dogbert thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. I'll have to annoy Dilbert and see if it makes me feel better." Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert stands behind him and says, "I just noticed that your ears don't match from the back." Dilbert gasps and grabs his ears. Dogbert walks away thinking, "Ahh . . ."
Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss stands behind him holding a fly swatter. The Boss says, "Hold still. I'm going to try a morale-building experiment." The Boss slaps Dilbert on the back of his head. The Boss walks away saying, "Thanks. I feel a lot better." Dilbert looks angry.
Dogbert hands Bob the Dinosaur a publication and says, "Bob, here's a copy of my new newsletter for clueless people." Bob reads, "Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless: 1. Professional wrestling is all faked. 2. Nobody ever lost weight on a home exercise device." Bob looks upset as he continues to read, "3. Looks are more important to happiness than brains. 4. If people don't comment on you new hairdo, they hate it." Dogbert says, "It's not healthy to read them all at once, Bob."
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start a business as a professional insulter." Dogbert continues, "For example, I would say to you, you're so ugly that you have to wear a disguise on garbage pick-up day." Dilbert replies, "That was uncalled for." Dogbert says, "Well, then no charge."
Dilbert: "I can't live my life trying to please others." Dogbert: "I think I can speak for all others when I say, 'Fool! You'd better please us or we'll crush you!'" Dilbert: "It was just a thought." Dogbert: "We 'others' don't like to be threatened."
"I can't believe we have to go to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Wally, I don't see how it could be bad to seek a better understanding of others." "Uh-oh." "Take a seat in the 'dumpy white guy section'. I'm ready to start."