Blow Deal Comic Strips - Page 2
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96 Results for Blow Deal
View 11 - 20 results for blow deal comic strips. Discover the best "Blow Deal" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 28,
2002
Tags #quitting, #work for myslef, #deal with morons, #freelance webdesigner
Transcript
An employee comes into The Boss' office and says, "Ha ha! I quit you stinkin' pile of rubbish!" The employee continues, "I'm going to work for myself. I won't need to deal with morons like you again!" The employee calms down and adds, "On an unrelated note, if you need a freelance web designer, please call me."
Monday October 21,
2002
Tags #investment banker, #deal sheet, #company, #defending, #trillion doallr, #asbestos, #lawsuit, #no earnings, #stock analysts, #business
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "Here's a deal sheet for a company you should buy." Dogbert continues, "They're defending against a trillion-dollar asbestos lawsuit, and they have no earnings." Dogbert continues, "But that's okay because stock analysts don't dig that far into the minutiae."
Wednesday February 11,
2004
Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal
Transcript
The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"
Sunday August 08,
1999
Tags #tough negotiator, #deal, #sign contract, #totally different, #conditions, #complained, #borrow, #briefcase, #no one complained
Transcript
A salesman sits with his briefcase across from Dilbert. The salesman says, " a tough negotiator, but I think we have a deal." The salesman hands Dilbert a piece off paper and says, "Just sign the contract and we'll deliver the equipment." Dilbert reads and says, "This contract is totally different from what we agreed." The salesman thinks, "Must act suprised." and says, "Really?" dilbert says, "Why are you spring all these conditions on me at the last minute?" The sales man says, "No onwe has ever complained before." Dilbert says, "Can I borrow your briefcase for a minute?" and takes the briefcase. The salesman says, "Um... okay." dilbert drops the briefcase off a balcony. The salesman says, "That wasn't nice." Dilbert says, "No one has complained before."
Wednesday November 26,
2008
Tags #coworkers, #beat up, #deal with difficult coworkers, #evil driector, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Dilbert: Alice beat me up. You have to do something. Catbert: Here's a book on how to deal with difficult coworkers. Dilbert: This isn't quite what... Catbert: Try holding it in front of your face.
Monday April 12,
2010
Tags #nose job, #health insurance, #surgery, #cloth over nose, #good deal, #veterinarian, #dog nose, #squirrel, #medical
Transcript
Asok says, "Our health plan doesn't cover nose jobs, so I used the market system to bargain for a good deal." Asok says, "I learned that a veterinarian is just like a doctor, but cheaper." Asok says, "Do you smell a squirrel?"
Wednesday September 15,
2010
Tags #meeting, #quotes, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #phones, #book deal, #excited, #business, #technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our highest priority is satisfying our customers? except when it is hard? or unprofitable? or we're busy." CLICK CLICK CLICK The Boss says, "Are you tweeting my quotes?" Asok says, "Book deal! Cha-ching!!!"
Thursday September 16,
2010
Tags #book deal, #quotes, #stupid, #dumb, #quote fingers, #intellectual, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #angry, #grit teeth, #nonsense, #yell, #spill coffee, #technology
Transcript
Asok says, "Good news: I got a book deal based entirely on the dumb things you've said." Asok says, "It's totally legal because the law only protects 'intellectual' property." The Boss says, "Frugga bugga!!!" Asok says, "And so began the sequel."
Friday October 12,
2007
Tags #unqualified crony, #rebellion, #staff, #blow out of proportion, #monitor situation
Transcript
Dilbert: Your unqualified crony is causing a rebellion among the staff. The Boss: "There's not need to blow this all out of proportion." "But I promise to monitor the situation."
Sunday September 12,
2004
Tags #better deal, #coworkers, #hike jacket, #lunch, #miser salad, #paying half, #respected colleague, #steaks
Transcript
WallyL Tina would you like y go to lunch with me? as a coworker or as a date? as a respected colleague. tina: sounds fishy. I know you're up to something: I just don't know what. you're getting the better deal. I'll be looking at your face but you get to look at me. Maybe you could hike up your jacket to occur your face. wally: fair enough, Tina: thi sis not a a=date. I insist on paying fifty percent. wally: Ok. Tina: I'll have the miser salad and water. wally: I'll have three half priced new york steaks.