Boss Lists Faults Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Lists Faults

View 11 - 20 results for boss lists faults comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Lists Faults" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Needs Copies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Needs Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, frustrated, irritation, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.

Dilbert Characters

Boss Surgery

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Surgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, brain, employees, insults, surgery

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, frustrated, managers & supervisors, office workers, report, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Agreeing With The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, climate change, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, agree

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Boss Recommends Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, computer software, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

Wally Covers For Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Covers For Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, motivation, vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?

Need Boss To Make Decision

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, managers & supervisors, ventriloquism, finishing projects, early, powerpoint, presentation, executive retreat, dead boss hand puppet, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, managers & supervisors, portal, parallel uiverse, more prodcutive, universe, cops, alice killed boss, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, meat, question and answer, meat bags, boss and emplyee, realtionship, office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "In this country, it is customary to respond to a question with somehting called an 'answer.'" Dilbert says, "Your approach is more like what I would expect to see if clothing were used as bags for meat." Dilbert says, "Now I will ask my question a seventh time..." The Boss says, "Stop saying what you're thinking."