Break Tie Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

186 Results for Break Tie

View 11 - 20 results for break tie comic strips. Discover the best "Break Tie" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad news, #break gradually, #budget worked on, #build up, #effort, #reorganizing dept., #worthless, #you're fired

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first draft, #sugesstions, #nit picking, #break up of marriage, #Wally, #over does, #critical

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands Dilbert a binder and says, "I made a few thousand suggestions on your first draft." Wally continues, "Of all the pleasures of life, I think I like nit-picking the best!" Dilbert takes the report and says, "That could explain the break-up of your marriage." Wally says, "You wouldn't believe what SHE thought was fun."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antina, #non stereotypical woman, #computer monitor, #coffe machine, #butch woman, #shirt and tie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer and Antina appears in the door of his cubicle. Antina is muscular, has short hair and is wearing a tie and a skirt. She says, "Hi, I'm Antina the Non-stereotypical Woman." Antina observes, "That computer monitor you're using is supposed to be 17 inches, but it's more like 16.5 inches." She continues, "I took the coffee machine apart just for fun - want to see?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shirts, #has either stain, #or missing button, #engineers, #not concerned with fashion, #stain with tie, #marinara

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of his open closet and says, "I hate my shirts. Each one has either a stain or a missing button." Dilbert examines a shirt on a hanger and says, "They say engineers are not concerned with fashion, but that's not fair." Dilbert holds up two shirts and asks Dogbert who is sitting on the bed, "Which stain goes with this tie?" Dogbert replies, "Definitely the marinara."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date other men, #break up, #need a spare, #not break up, #other dates

View Transcript

Transcript

Liz and Dilbert walk outdoors. Liz says, "I've decided to date other men." Dilbert cries, "Nooo!!! Don't break up with me!" Liz replies, "I'm not. I just want to date other men at the same time." Dilbert folds his arms across his chest and says, "I am NOT happy right now." Liz points to a man walking next to her and says, "That's exactly why I need a spare."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #family friendly policies, #higher profits, #high profits, #true costs, #camouflage, #five minute break

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman points at a chart and says, "My study shows that the companies with 'Family Friendly' policies have higher profits." Dilbert sits in the audience with Wally, Alice and other employees. He raises his hand and says, "Question: Do family policies cause high profits or do high profits simply camouflage the true costs of the policies?" The woman says, "We'll take a five-minute break so the married people can slap you for asking that." Dilbert says, "Ouch!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #petting, #break up, #roxanne, #humans, #kind, #intelligent creatures, #freaks out, #until intimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Roxanne, the cute girl, and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "As much as I like the petting, I still have to break up with you, Roxanne." Roxanne says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "Humans are kind intelligent, well-adjusted creatures, until you get to know them." Roxanne screams, "May the horned demons of Ixpah smite you like the last six!!!" Dogbert walks away and says, "This is what I'm talking about."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #alice, #working during vacation, #remain motivated, #glass ceiling, #never break

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern stands behind Alice, who is dressed casually and sits at her computer. Asok says, "I admire your work ethic, Alice. You're even working during your vacation." Alice grimaces and grits her teeth. Asok continues, "It must be hard to remian motivated when you know you can never break though the glass ceiling." Alice grimaces some more. Asok's body dangles from the ceiling through a mass of tiles and wiring. Alice looks up at him and says,"So, it looks like it's just tile after all."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #role model, #despite pressure, #frustration, #can't break, #no spine, #philosopher, #Wally, #asok admires wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Wally areeating lunch in thecompany cafeteria. Asok says, "You're my role model, Wally." Asok holds a sandwich in his hands and says, "despite all the pressure and frustration, you press on. You bend but do not break." Wally says, "My motto is, 'They can't break you if you don't have a spine.'" Asok says, "Wow. You're like a philosopher!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts tech support, #software, #cat scan machine, #break room, #insert head, #trickster dogbert, #prnak, #cowoorker, #labor market, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert on phone with Tech Support guy. Dogbert sitting at computer terminal with hand on mouse. Dogbert says, "Our software is perfect. The problem must be with you." Tech Support guy on phone with Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Go to the cat scan machine in the break room and insert your head. I'll monitor you from here." Wally watches as Tech Support guy inserts his head into microwave. Tech Support guy says, "Do you see the problem?" Wally says, "I blame the tight labor market."