Bribe Blogger Comic Strips - Page 2

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23 Results for Bribe Blogger

View 11 - 20 results for bribe blogger comic strips. Discover the best "Bribe Blogger" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #funerals, #ashes, #cremation, #scattered, #outer space, #elbonian general, #intercontinental missile, #burden on living

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Dilbert: When I die, I want my ashes scattered in outer space. Dogbert: Cool! I'll bribe an Elbonian general to strap you to their intercontinental missile when we test it next week. Dilbert: It's better if the dying and the ash scattering are separate events. Dogbert: Don't be a burden on the living.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #must bride, #elbonians, #nuclear weapon, #microwave instead, #persian rugs

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Dilbert: The Elbonians won't do business with my company unless we bribe them. Dogbert: offer to give them plans for building a nuclear weapon, Then give them plans to build microwave ovens instead. Dilbert: would that work? Dogbert: why do you think our garage is full of persona rugs?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senator, #bribery, #deal, #legislation, #law, #favor, #manipulation

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the CEO and the senator Dogbert says ,"It wouldn't be legal for me to bribe you." Dogbert says, "So I hired your wife as a consultant despite the fact that she thinks 'Present value' is some sort of gift card." Dogbert says, "And I wrote some legislation for you because you're a lazy thief." Senator says, "Ha ha! Let's call that 'Access'."

Recommening A Friend

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Recommening A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bribe, #employee, #hiring, #money, #referral, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?

The Dogbertium Particle

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The Dogbertium Particle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #science, #accusation, #questioning, #discovery, #accusing

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Dogbert: I wrote a paper about my discovery of the "Dogbertium Particle" and submitted it for peer review. Luckily, most of my peers are made of pure Dogbertium, which means they are easy to bribe. Dilbert: Bribe? Dogbert: Do you have a problem with that, or are you anti-science?

Tina Wants Warmer Temperature

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Tina Wants Warmer Temperature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thermostat, #temperature, #deal, #negotiation, #cold, #bribe

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Wally: My cubicle is near the thermostat and your desk has the est view of our boss' office. I'll see that you get the temperature you want if you warn me whenever our boss is on the move. Tina: Can you give me 76 degrees? Wally: Whoa! That'll cost you extra, Lucifer.

Wally Accepts Bribes

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Wally Accepts Bribes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bribe, #bribery, #money, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: I started accepting bribes from co-workers to incent me to do my job. Dilbert: If it didn't work for your employer, why do they think it will work for them? Wally: Something about optimism. Dilbert: They didn't say why? Wally: All I know is that no one paid me to listen to them.

Trust Your First Instinct

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Trust Your First Instinct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bribe, #bribery, #laziness, #work ethic

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Boss: People are telling me you are accepting bribes to help co-workers on projects. Wally: You think I'm helping my co-workers? Boss: Good point. That part didn't sound right. Wally: Trust your first instinct.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

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Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

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Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Wally Has Higher Income

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Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary

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Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.