Burn The Ruler Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

67 Results for Burn The Ruler

View 11 - 20 results for burn the ruler comic strips. Discover the best "Burn The Ruler" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #financial, #adviser, #churn, #burn, #mutual, #funds, #worthless, #equity, #brokerage, #risky

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "I recommend our 'Churn 'N' Burn' family of mutual funds." The man continues, "We'll turn your worthless equity into valuable brokerage fees in just three days!" Dilbert asks, "Is it risky?" The advisor replies, "Are you kidding?! We have actual brochures!"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #laugh, #science, #surprise, #united, #nations, #vote, #space, #alien, #ruler of earth, #supreme, #freckles, #press conference

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. A newscaster says, "In a surprise decision, the United Nations voted to make Dogbert - the Space Alien - the Supreme Ruler of Earth." The newscaster continues, "More on that later. But first, science offers new hope for people with freckles . . ." The caption says, "Dogbert holds his first press conference." Dogbert stands at a podium shouting, "Hu-ha-ha! Hu-ha-ha!" A reporter thinks, "Not a good sign."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #earth, #taxes, #press conference, #reporter, #corrupt, #morally, #supreme ruler

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a podium during a press conference. A reporter asks, "Now that you're the Supreme Ruler of Earth, will you become morally corrupt?" Dogbert replies, "Yes, that's my plan. It's really the only way to enjoy a job like this." Dogbert continues, "And of course I'll be raising taxes just to see the expressions on your faces." The reporters look angry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #king dogbert, #first ruler, #internet, #bow before me, #internet is millons individuals, #until now, #dogbert fancies himself king, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on the desk and says, "I declare myself 'King Dogbert,' the first ruler of the Internet!!" Dogbert raises his paws over his head and yells, "Bow before me or be expelled from the kingdom forever!!!" Dilbert enters wearing a bathrobe and asks, "Are you aware that the Internet is comprised of millions of individuals and organizations that operate independently?" Dogbert replies, "Until now!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #supreme ruler, #earth, #wondering, #dolts, #worthy, #leadership, #ego

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert take a walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "It has always been my goal to become supreme ruler of earth . . ." As they peer over a cliff, Dogbert continues, "But lately I've been wondering if you dolts are worthy of my leadership." Dilbert asks, "Do you think maybe your ego is out of control, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I like it that way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #chose path, #phil, #ruler of heck, #punisher, #minor sins, #procter and gamble, #home exercise spoons

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil and the Boss sit at a table eating lunch. Phil says, "Mom wanted me to be a manager like you. But I chose my own path." Phil continues, "I became Phil, the Ruler of Heck, the Punisher of Minor Sins!" The Boss asks, "How do you make money?" Phil answers, "Corporate sponsorship. 'Procter and Gamble' pays me to stay away from them." The Boss says, "You should sell a line of home-exercise spoons."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #phil, #ruler of heck, #patented exerspoon, #seven million, #exercises, #innovative spoon shape

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a chair watching television. A voice from the tv says, "This is Phil, Ruler of Heck, with a special offer for my patented 'Exerspoon.'" In the commercial, Phil holds his spoon between his thighs and says, "You can do over seven million exercises with the 'Exerspoon.'" It even trims problem areas!" Phil continues, "And thanks to the innovative spoon shape, storage is a breeze!" The commercial shows a man and women in a bed, sleeping in the spoon position with the Exerspoon.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #supreme ruler, #earth, #go outside, #runa round, #mouth open, #fresh air, #exercise, #hate flies, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the grass. Dogbert says, "Someday when I become the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. Dogbert continues, "I'll order everybody to go outside once a day and run around with their mouths open." Dilbert asks, "Because you support fresh air and exercise?" Dogbert replies, "Because I hate flies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #supreme ruler, #universe, #next movie, #the show, #embraced you, #befor ehsow, #no visible mouth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert appears on the "Larry King Live" show. Dogbert says into the microphone, "Larry, I'm here to announce my candidacy for Supreme Ruler of the Universe." Larry says, "That's funny! Tell us about your next movie, Sharon." Dogbert replies, "I'm not Sharon Stone. I said that to get on the show." Larry says, "So . . . When I embraced you before the show . . ." Dogbert says, "I think we're both glad I have no visible mouth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #supreme ruler, #earth, #landslide, #low votor, #benevolent ruler, #caning, #olympic event

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "The votes are in. I've been elected to the position of Supreme Ruler of Earth." Dogbert says, "I won in a landslide, thanks to low voter turnout and the fact that I voted for myself many times." Dilbert says, "I hope you'll be a benevolent ruler." Dogbert says, "I think I'll make caning an Olympic event."