Burning Couch Comic Strips - Page 2
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Ratbert and Dogbert are on the couch. Dogbert holds a remote control and leans against a cushion. Ratbert says, "Do you mind if I fill the gaps in our conversation with random observations?" Dogbert says, "No." Ratbert says, "So, you got a little pillow there, eh? Eh?" Ratbert says, "When I say, "Eh?", that's your cue to answer."
Ann sits in a metting with Wally and Dilbert. Ann says, "If you anger me, I will curse at you until your eyebrows burn off." Ann says, "I ll demonstrate my power by burning Wally's left eyebrow." Wally's mouth drops in shock. Ann curses loudly. Wally and Dilbert look at Wally's lap. Wally says, "Ow! Ow! That's not an eyebrow!"
Dilbert and his girlfriend are sitting on the couch. Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I turn off the lights to... um... save energy?" She replies, "I'm green with that." The lights are off. There are only sounds of kissing: "Mmm.. smooch smooch." "Smooch smooch." Dilbert's girlfriend turns on the light to find Dilbert on top of Bob. Bob says, "I came down to meet your new girlfriend but now I think it'll be awkward."
Dogbert works for the cable company "If your picture is fuzzy then get new glasses." "If my glasses are theproblem, why does the couch look perfectly clear?" "Good question. Please hold while I transfer your to couch tech support."
The Boss: "I hired the Dogbert Moving Company to handle your relocation." "It saves us money because they only send one huge guy." "After you load your couch on the truck, make me another sandwich, or, again, I'll kill you."
Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.
Catbert says, "I can't put you on the management fast track until I confirm that your moral compass is broken." Catbert says, "A nun, a CEO and a scientist are in a burning building. You can only save one of them. Which one do you save?" Dilbert says, "Is there time for a bidding war?" Catbert says, "Oh, you're good."
The Boss: Our bonuses will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey. If we boost our morale rank, we'll get bigger bonuses. get it? all you have to do is say you're happy and you get money. wink wink wink Dilbert: you want us to lie? No-o-o-o! Heaven forbid, absolutely no lying, But if you did lie, Imagine the things you could buy with that money, I'll hand out the surveys and you can let your conscience guide you. Dilbert: Is "para dise too over the top? Wally: Im going to lie me up a new couch!
Wally: How was your weekend? Alice: I wrapped myself in a blanket and stayed on the couch watching bad TV shows until I smelled like a gym sock with halitosis. Wally: I like how she makes me feel.