Business Trip Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for Business Trip

View 11 - 20 results for business trip comic strips. Discover the best "Business Trip" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agree who's fault, #meeting, #Men, #so mature, #trip victory lap, #won meeting, #your fault, #delays, #business

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Wally watches as Asok the Intern says to a male co-worker, "... And so you agree that the delays are your fault?" The co-worker says, "Yeh." The co-worker and Wally watch as, throwing his arms up in the air in jubilation, Asok exclaims, "I won the meeting!!" Asok's clothing and hair are askew and his eye is closed shut as he says, "Only a sore loser would trip someone on his victory lap." Wally says, "He is so-o-o immature."

The Evil Robot Business

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The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts

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Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.

Business Plan History

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Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn

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Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

Wife Starts A Business

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Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

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Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Business Agility Influencer

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Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless

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ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Business Lying

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Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #lying, #context, #important, #acceptable, #sick, #sarcasm, #face mask

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tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Non Disclosure Denied

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Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #sales personnel, #nondisclosure agreement, #product, #new, #waste, #refusal, #sign, #company, #vendor, #lawyer, #idiot

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salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #saving & investment, #intentional billing errors, #honest mistakes, #maintain bonuses, #pipelien, #new errors, #pension algorythm, #money

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Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #thinking, #creative, #teacher, #business card, #ideationista, #education

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Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #secondhand sales, #tablet computer, #business, #design logo, #pay another company, #other companies, #watch, #engineers, #degrade, #low morale

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Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?