Buying Decsion Comic Strips - Page 2

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66 Results for Buying Decsion

View 11 - 20 results for buying decsion comic strips. Discover the best "Buying Decsion" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customers, #buy prodcut, #credibilty, #buying services, #dont talk

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"Dogberts Consults." Dogbert: "Never listen to your customers." "They were dumb enough to buy your product, so they have no credibility." "That reminds me: thanks for buying my services. Don't talk. Shhh." The boss: "Ooh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management problems, #solve by yelling, #buying software

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Dogbert: There are two kinds of management problems. "There's the kind you can solve by yelling and the kind you can solve by buying some sort of software." "That's why I created 'Some sort of software that yells'." The boss: "Ooo!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vampires, #competitors, #buying, #babies, #skeptical

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Man says, "I don't like to say bad things about my competitors, but they're all vampires." Man says, "And not the sexy kind either. They're more the bitey kind." Man says, "Our product doesn't even work, and you're still better off buying from us." Alice says, "They said you eat babies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoying music, #buying deciosn, #clutter design, #cubicle, #eacape, #images, #look ugly, #ne wpordcut, #no information, #portfolio, #stock holders, #website, #work till death, #technology

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The Boss: Dilbert, work with Gustav to get our new product explained on our website. Gustav: Heres what I have so far. Dilbert: Its awful. Gustav: excuse me? Dilbert: there no information. Its all images and annoying music. Dilbert: People make buying decisions based on what they read. This gives them nothing, Gustav: If I clutter the design with useful information, it will look ugly ad I won't be able to use it in my portfolio. I need that portfolio to get a job at a better company, Please help me escape. Gustav: You'll probably work here until you die in your cubicle no matter what the website looks like. The Boss: Did you help Gustav? Dilbert: yes, But it wasn't a good day for our stock holders.

Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company

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Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #merger, #acquisition, #gawker, #reputation, #infamy

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CEO: I accidentally talked the board into buying a company that has a tainted reputation. Catbert: How bad is the taint? CEO: Imagine Hitler's unwashed socks. Catbert: That isn't so bad. CEO: I'm just getting started. Now imagine I make you eat those socks...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #mergers & acquisitions, #slavery is illeagal, #engineers are free, #find jobs, #better companies

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Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #medical expenses, #plattypuss

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Bob the Dinosaur remembers the image of a dinosaur crushed under a meteor. Bob says, ". . . But Larry the Dinosaur survived his brush with the meteor." Bob continues, "His medical expenses soared. Today we recognize Larry as the first of a new evolutionary chain of dinosaurs . . ." Bob pictures a flat animal with legs. Bob concludes, "The 'Doctor-Billed Flattypuss.'" Dilbert says, "I'm not buying this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas presents, #Dilbert, #Wally, #christmas, #gift, #cd player, #Card, #shallow, #gesture

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters holding an envelope and says, "I'm collecting money for a gift to a poor family this Christmas." Dilbert opens his wallet and asks, "What are you buying them?" Wally replies, "A CD player." Dilbert says, "Thank you for making this the most shallow gesture of my life." Wally says, "I'll add your name to the card."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #collective, #nerd, #demand, #discounts, #wireless, #e-mail, #products, #daughter, #phone, #Number

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Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant

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The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"