Cat 5 Comic Strips - Page 2

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106 Results for Cat 5

View 11 - 20 results for cat 5 comic strips. Discover the best "Cat 5" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #adult, #males, #immune, #verbal, #abuse, #petrified, #cat, #spittle, #bee, #burp, #chocolate, #cake

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Dogbert says, "The great thing about adult males is that they've become immune to verbal abuse. Adult females may have something to do with it." Dogbert stands behind Dilbert and says, "Hey, you grotesque pile of petrified cat spittle . . ." Dilbert replies, "Hi, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Is that your head, or has some kind of zucchini sprouted from your torso?" Dilbert asks, "Would you like to join me for some chocolate cake?" Dogbert says, "If brains were beans, you wouldn't have enough to make a bee burp." Dilbert replies, "Hey! We don't insult bees in this house!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #corporate, #takeover, #complete, #hostile, #bid, #meowco, #cat, #Food, #company, #efficient, #hassling, #ashamed, #hairball

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Dogbert sits at a table holding a document. He tells Dilbert, "Plans for the corporate takeover are complete." Dilbert asks, "What corporate takeover?" Dogbert replies, "It's a hostile bid for control of the Meowco Cat Food Company." Dogbert explains, "When I become CEO, I'll order them to add a hairball to every can of cat food." Dogbert chuckles. Dilbert says, "That is cruel and senseless. I'm thoroughly ashamed of you." Dilbert leaves the room. Dogbert sits on the hassock and thinks, "Gee . . . It seems so much more efficient than hassling one cat at a time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #edna, #protect, #planning, #boots, #cat, #dating

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A woman holding a cocktail glass says to another woman, "Uh-oh . . . That guy is coming to talk to us." Dilbert thinks, "I hate this long walk across the room." The woman says, "You're the ugly one, Edna. You'll have to protect me." Dilbert thinks, "They spotted me. They're planning a defense." The woman says to Edna, "I'll push you between us. You start babbling about your cat or something." Dilbert thinks, "I can't do it. I'll veer off at the last minute . . ." The woman shouts, "Now, Edna!" and pushes her. Edna falls and Dilbert trips over her. The woman thinks, "It's hard to be the pretty one." From the floor, Edna says, "I have a cat named Boots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #had a cat once, #two hours, #beef of cat, #selfish

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Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at the lunch table. Wally says, "I had a cat once . . ." Wally continues, "I petted that thing for two hours but I didn't feel any better." Dilbert says, "Petting is for the benefit of the cat, not your hand." Wally says, "They're so selfish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #emotion, #Dogbert, #mood, #e.t., #neighbor, #cat, #fat, #fool, #academy, #best, #dog, #frozen, #lavatory, #imagine, #passing, #sorrow

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Dilbert points a video camera at Dogbert and says, "Let's see some emotion, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "I need to be in the mood." Dilbert says, "Remember when it looked like 'E.T.' died, but really he didn't?" Dogbert sniffs like he is about to cry. Dilbert says, "The neighbor's cat says you're fat." Dogbert says angrily, "The fool!" Dilbert says, "Imagine you won an academy award for 'Best Dog.'" Dogbert looks surprised and says, "Me?!!" Dilbert says, "Imagine some frozen lavatory waste from a passing jet crashes through the roof and flattens me as I film this." Dogbert falls over and laughs. Dilbert asks, "Is that sorrow? It doesn't look like sorrow." Dogbert thinks, "Oops."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #software, #cat scan machine, #break room, #insert head, #trickster dogbert, #prnak, #cowoorker, #labor market, #engineering

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert on phone with Tech Support guy. Dogbert sitting at computer terminal with hand on mouse. Dogbert says, "Our software is perfect. The problem must be with you." Tech Support guy on phone with Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Go to the cat scan machine in the break room and insert your head. I'll monitor you from here." Wally watches as Tech Support guy inserts his head into microwave. Tech Support guy says, "Do you see the problem?" Wally says, "I blame the tight labor market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #disguised alice, #hat, #giant hat, #parking space, #authrized, #hire, #cat bert

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The boss interviews a disguised Alice. The boss says, "I'm prerpared to offer you $120,000 per year plus a parking space for your gigantic hat." Alice pulls ofer her hat and glasses and says, "Ha ha! It is I, Alice! I accept your offer for a higher-paying job!" Catbert takes of the boss mask and says, "ha ha! It is I, Catbert! I'm not authorized to hire anyone!" Alice says, "#!*ing cat!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #after 5 club, #select group, #employees, #creative ideas, #club for people, #during business hours, #business

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The Boss says to Wally, who is seated at his computer, "Wally, you are invited to my new 'after-5 club.'" The Boss says, "A select group of employees will meet after work to think of creative ideas." Wally turns to The Boss and says, "Is there a club for people who know how to think during business hours?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bonus is 5%, #don't feel bad, #salary, #salary differences, #the boss, #intern ages, #inequity, #allow to feel bad, #money

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The boss gives an envelope to Asok and says: "Asok, your bonus is only 5% this year.Don't feel bad; I only got 5% too." Asok says to the boss: "But 5% of your salary is four times more than 5% of my salary." Asok says to the boss: "May I feel bad about that?" The boss answers: "Sure. Go wild!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ad agency, #cat, #sarcasm, #like sarcasm, #laughter, #over done, #animals

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THE AD AGENCY: Pete Peters, holding up a picture of a cat, says, "This cat will say something." Pete Peters, holding up a picture of another cat, says, "Then this other cat will say, 'Yeah, right.' It's like sarcasm." The Boss howls with laughter, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "This explains so much."