Catbert Hr Driector Comic Strips - Page 2
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View 11 - 20 results for catbert hr driector comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert Hr Driector" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 09, 1998's comic on:
Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Alice sits in a chair across from Catbert's desk. Alice with her arms out says, "I work hard, but all I get are tiny raises." Catbert says, "If we gave you everything you wanted, then you would have nothing to motivate you." ALice says, "I don't want to be motivated." Catbert says, "That's why I enjoy doing it!"
Share December 31, 1998's comic on:
Title reads, "Catbert: H.R. Director." Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, I'm sending you home. Shorts are not acceptable dress." Wally responds, as we see that his pants are simply too short, "These are not shorts!" As Catbert walks away, purring, he thinks, "Tomorrow I'll accuse him of being a skinhead."
Share February 24, 1999's comic on:
Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director" Allan is in Catbert's office. He has a lapm strapped to his back. Allan says. "My boss treats me like furniture." Catbert says, "I'd help you, but it might set a dangerous precedent." Allan says, "I need a new position." Catbert says, "Have you tried crouching?"
Share August 07, 1995's comic on:
Catbert is at his desk. He thinks, "I think I'll invent some illogical policies to annoy employees." Catbert continues thinking, "My diabolical new dress code will make them question their own sanity." Reading a document, Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So, casual clothes DON'T lower our stock value . . . but only if worn on Fridays . . . unless somebody sees us . . . Got it?" Wally puts his hands on his head and replies, "I think I'm insane."
Share November 01, 1995's comic on:
Catbert peers over the wall of Wally's cubicle and says, "Guess what, Wally." Wally says, "What sadistic plot has HR come up with now, Catbert?" Catbert shows Wally an org chart and says, "We're giving you a real boss plus a 'dotted line' to another boss who has different objectives." Catbert continues, "The status reports alone will take forty hours a week." Wally opens a stapler and says, "I'm gonna staple myself to death."
Share August 07, 1996's comic on:
Catbert says to Tina, "It has come to my attention that you used company resources to send e-mail to your boyfriend." Catbert continues, "I'm willing to overlook this ugly incident in exchange for five minutes of quality petting on my soft, furry belly." Tina pets Catbert's stomach and says, "This seems so wrong." Catbert says, "Try using both hands."
Share August 12, 1996's comic on:
Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Hey, Wally . . . Big layoffs coming." Catbert continues, "I've seen the list. I know more about your future than you do. But it's a secret." Catbert says, "Sadly, cats don't keep secrets very well." Ted says to Wally, "Nice chair."
Share August 26, 1996's comic on:
Catbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Morale is low because the employees are underpaid." Catbert continues, "You can compensate by having more frequent performance reviews. They love feedback." Catbert clenches his teeth and thinks, "The hardest part is keeping a straight face." The Boss says, "Tell me again why I'd want morale to be high?"
Share September 30, 1996's comic on:
Alice says to Catbert, "I need to hire a programmer for my project team." Catbert says, "Our policy is to first seek candidates from within the company. If none is qualified, you must use a sock puppet." Alice asks, "How many of your policies are designed for the sole purpose of satisfying your sadistic tendencies?" Catbert replies, "All of them. Some are just more obvious."
Share October 23, 1996's comic on:
Catbert walks down the hall thinking, "I feel like committing random acts of catness." Catbert holds out his paws and thinks, "Woman in pink suit approaching . . . Activate purring and shedding." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "So, Alice, how long does it take to curl and style a suit like that?" Wally asks, "Do you dry-clean it or just give it a perm?"