Cell Mate Comic Strips - Page 2

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149 Results for Cell Mate

View 11 - 20 results for cell mate comic strips. Discover the best "Cell Mate" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #unicornitis, #cell normalizer, #dna sample, #genius garbageman

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The Garbage man throws garbage into his truck. The garbage man sees Dilbert who is wearing a coat and has a unicorn horn growing out of his forehead. The Grabage Man says, "Looks like someone has a bad case of unicornitis." The Grabage Man says, "I've got a pre-horn sample of your DNA in the truck. I could fix you up with my cell normalizer." Dilbert says, "Why do you have my DNA in your truck?" The Garbage man wears goggles and holds a ray gun. The Grabage Man says, "It's for exactly this sort of situation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello

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"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #drive carefully, #drive into a tree, #policy, #using cell phones, #poisonous snakes, #sarcasm, #joking, #obvious

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The Boss and Asok the Intern are sitting at a table. The Boss informs Asok: "The new policy says you must drive carefully while using cell phones." Asok says: "This policy is just in time. I had planned to drive into a tree." Asok leans toward the Boss and asks: "Is there anything there about handling poisonous snakes?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #single cell organism, #new hire, #break room, #pretending

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Wally: So, I hear you're a single cell organism. Whats up with that? Alice: The new guy is rolling into a ball and shedding water. Dilbert: Been there.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #one ear, #email, #instant message, #pager, #messages, #boss comes in, #work stories, #technology

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dilbert says, "I had my cell phone at one ear and my regular phone at the other." Dilbert continues, "I'm reading e-mail, sending instant messages, my pager is vibrating, and my boss comes in!" Dogbert says, "You know what makes your work stories fascinating?" Dilbert asks. "What?" Dogbert continues, "Nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #cell phone not working, #short range, #same room, #tv remote control

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The Boss stops Wally and Dilbert in the hallway and asks, "Why isn't my cell phone working?" Dilbert responds, "That's a short-range cell phone. You need to be in the same room with the person you call." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. The Boss has his phone up to his ear. He thinks, "Answer the stinkin' phone, Alice." Asok asks, "Why are listening to a TV remote control?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2003's comic on:


Tags #alice, #cell phone, #every two minutes, #flushable, #owner wonders where, #technology

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Alice is sitting in her cubicle. On the other side of the wall, a cell phone makes the noises, "Beep-beep-a-beep-beep-a-beep." Alice thinks, "Every two minutes." Alice looks into the next cubicle and and clenches her teeth at the cell phone lying there. A coworker approaches Alice and asks, "Have you seen my cell phone?" Alice responds, "Was it metallic, noisy and flushable?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #cell phone bill, #expense, #award, #speech, #lost cell phone, #low bill, #company phone

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"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #point haired boss, #throw desk, #off biliding, #cell phone, #bad connection, #carry desk, #roof, #thrown, #happy, #technology

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"Are you sure that our pointy-haired boss said to throw his desk off the building?" "Well, his cell phone had a really bad connection." "Do you care?" "Not so much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cell phone network, #illegal compnent, #bribe, #nuclear weapon, #add flavor

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"Your bid to build our cell phone network is the lowest by far." "But I'd feel more comfortable if it had an illegal component." "Like a bribe? Or helping you build a nuclear weapon?" "Yes, just something to add flavor."