Ceo Comic Strips - Page 2
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
627 Results for Ceo
View 11 - 20 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 29,
2004
Tags safety law, ceo, email ceo, blah blah blah, negligence, people die, products safety
Transcript
Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.
Monday June 20,
2005
Tags bungee jump, ceo, dogcart consults, reckless adventurer, volcano, worst performer
Transcript
Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"
Tuesday June 12,
2007
Tags ceo, go fatser, set tone, control, opinions are treason, name calling, intimidation, corporations, little guy, meeting, tone of intimidation, condescending, business
Transcript
CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"
Wednesday August 15,
2012
Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, google, 100 million, engineers, jump ship, ceo, buy out
Transcript
CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.
Saturday October 06,
2012
Tags business ethics, executives, poor persons, ceo morality test, new tech, fracking, grinding porr people, high pressure, shale
Transcript
Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test
Monday October 22,
2012
Tags executives, weapons, constructive criticsim, humble intern, eye lasers, stings, surprise, ceo, evil
Transcript
Asok: Would you accept some constructive criticism from a humble intern? CEO: Activating eye lasers! Asok: It stings for a few minutes, and then you surprise yourself with what you can get used to.
Friday December 07,
2012
Tags jewelry, rich people, expensive watch, entire net worth, ceo, employee
Transcript
Asok: Holy moly! Your watch costs more than my entire net worth. CEO: Thank you. Asok: This isn't a "thank you" situation. CEO: You're welcome?
Thursday December 20,
2012
Tags anger, wages, ceo motivate, feeling of engemnet, long term goal, engaement, money
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO says I need to motivate you with a feeling of engagement, not higher pay. The long-term goal is to get you to pay us for the privilege of working here. I heard words I didn't know were words. CEO: Try giving her more engagement.
Wednesday January 30,
2013
Tags questioning, ceo, lawyer, salespeople, psychopathy, disembowle, rhetorical, legal
Transcript
CEO: You might be wondering why I called this meeting. Dilbert: Well, I see a CEO, a company lawyer, and two salespeople. Those jobs are highly correlated with psychopathy. My guess is that you invited me here to disembowel me. CEO: It was rhetorical!
Wednesday February 20,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, appleby ceo, admit wrongs, other people, humbly admit, business
Transcript
CEO: The CEO of Apple says a leader should admit when he's wrong. That won't work for me because I'm never wrong. The best I can do is admit when other people are wrong. Boss: That sort of misses the point. CEO: Well, I humbly admit you're wrong.

