Ceo Slip Trance Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for ceo slip trance comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Slip Trance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety law, #ceo, #email ceo, #blah blah blah, #negligence, #people die, #products safety

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Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bungee jump, #ceo, #dogcart consults, #reckless adventurer, #volcano, #worst performer

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Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #go fatser, #set tone, #control, #opinions are treason, #name calling, #intimidation, #corporations, #little guy, #meeting, #tone of intimidation, #condescending, #business

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CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #mergers & acquisitions, #google, #100 million, #engineers, #jump ship, #ceo, #buy out

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CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #executives, #poor persons, #ceo morality test, #new tech, #fracking, #grinding porr people, #high pressure, #shale

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Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #weapons, #constructive criticsim, #humble intern, #eye lasers, #stings, #surprise, #ceo, #evil

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Asok: Would you accept some constructive criticism from a humble intern? CEO: Activating eye lasers! Asok: It stings for a few minutes, and then you surprise yourself with what you can get used to.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jewelry, #rich people, #expensive watch, #entire net worth, #ceo, #employee

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Asok: Holy moly! Your watch costs more than my entire net worth. CEO: Thank you. Asok: This isn't a "thank you" situation. CEO: You're welcome?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #wages, #ceo motivate, #feeling of engemnet, #long term goal, #engaement, #money

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Boss: Our CEO says I need to motivate you with a feeling of engagement, not higher pay. The long-term goal is to get you to pay us for the privilege of working here. I heard words I didn't know were words. CEO: Try giving her more engagement.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questioning, #ceo, #lawyer, #salespeople, #psychopathy, #disembowle, #rhetorical, #legal

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CEO: You might be wondering why I called this meeting. Dilbert: Well, I see a CEO, a company lawyer, and two salespeople. Those jobs are highly correlated with psychopathy. My guess is that you invited me here to disembowel me. CEO: It was rhetorical!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #appleby ceo, #admit wrongs, #other people, #humbly admit, #business

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CEO: The CEO of Apple says a leader should admit when he's wrong. That won't work for me because I'm never wrong. The best I can do is admit when other people are wrong. Boss: That sort of misses the point. CEO: Well, I humbly admit you're wrong.