Change Once A Month Comic Strips - Page 2
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Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.
Dilbert approaches the mailbox saying, "Oh, please, please, please . . ." Dilbert opens the mailbox and says, "Yay! It's here!" Dilbert walks away carrying a piece of bread. Dilbert says, "Nothing quite matches the thrill of the 'Toast of the Month Club!'"
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "No, you may NOT borrow the car to go cruising." Dogbert says, "I think we should vote on it." Dilbert replies, "Heh-heh . . Okay, but a tie means no change in the decision." Dogbert says, "Fair enough." Dogbert thinks as he drives the car, "I'm glad he didn't demand a recount."
Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."
Dilbert sits on a weight lifting bench holding dumbells. Dilbert thinks, "The experts used to say you should exercise every day." Dilbert thinks, "Now they think twenty minutes every other day is just as good." Dilbert collapses onto the bench and thinks, "My strategy of five minutes a month is looking pretty clever."
Dogbert sits across from a customer service representative in a bank. The woman says, "Well, Mr. Dogbert, what could I do to convince you to put your new wealth in our bank?" Dogbert replies, "Stretch your polyester pants over the top of your head." As the woman pulls her pants over her head, Dogbert says, "I hope money doesn't change me."
One Elbonian asks another, "How many left-handed Elbonians does it take to change a light bulb?" The Elbonian says, "None! Left-handed Elbonians don't have any light bulbs!" The other Elbonian asks, "What's a light bulb?" The Elbonian replies, "I guess it would be funnier if we knew that."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "You've never accepted me in your family because I'm a little rat." Ratbert continues, "But I'll be testing a drug at the lab that will change that. No more little rat." Dilbert asks, "You won't be a rat?" Ratbert replies, "Don't tell me it's the 'rat' part that bothers you . . ."
Dilbert, the Boss, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Whoa whoa! I just got an idea that could change everything . . ." Ted says, "What if we LOWERED expenses and INCREASED revenues? That could help our financial situation." Ted yells, "Aaagh! I can't see!!!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "Sounds like a blinding flash of the obvious, sir."
Wally and Dilbert hold Dogbert signs and are wearing brassieres. Wally says, "You have to admit it - since Dogbert conquered the earth we've had no wars and the economy improved." Dilbert replies, "It could be a coincidence. All he's ordered so far is that we carry his picture and wear brassieres." Wally says, "I think you're afraid of change." Dilbert says, "Oh yeah? Well, I don't think you're a 'D' cup."