Changing Jobs Comic Strips - Page 2

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170 Results for Changing Jobs

View 11 - 20 results for changing jobs comic strips. Discover the best "Changing Jobs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beat it out, #changing mind, #engineering, #goons, #project requirements, #thoughts, #won't share, #meditation

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Ted: The project requirements are forming in my mind. Now there changing ....changing...changing...changing...okay ...no, wait ,,,,changing ...changing...done. Ted: Naturally, Wont be sharing any of these thoughts with engineering. Dilbert: I budgeted for some goons to beat it out of you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #consulting partner, #jobs outsiurced, #stooped over, #very bad ergo nomics

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Dilbert stands on a desk next to Ratbert, who is bending over. Dogbert points to Ratbert and says, "My consulting partner, Ratbert, will demonstrate how to inform employees that their jobs will be outsourced." As he kicks Ratbert off the desk and into a trash can, Dogbert says, "You're history. Scram." The Boss asks, "How do I get them all stooped over?" Dogbert replies, "I recommend a program of very bad ergonomics."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new compensation, #bonuses paid, #top ten percent, #resigned bitter disgust, #get better jobs

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company announced a new compensation plan today. Bonuses will be paid only to the top ten percent of the employees." The Boss continues, "In related news, 89% of the employees resigned in bitter disgust. The top ten percent also left, realizing they could get better jobs elsewhere." The Boss concludes, "This could have an impact on those of you who remain." Wally asks, "We get the bonuses?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first email, #message, #how to use email, #forgot watch, #change jobs

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Dilbert leans out his cubicle door and yells, "Hey, Wally! The Boss sent his first e-mail message!" Dilbert says to Wally who stands behind him, "And you said he wasn't bright enough to figure out how to use e-mail!" Wally asks, "What's his message?" Dilbert reads the message, "I forgot my watch. Does anybody know what time it is?" Wally says, "Time to change jobs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reduce expenses, #essentail jobs, #business cards, #borrow some

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In order to reduce expenses, only the employees in essential jobs may have business cards." Wally, Dilbert and Alice think, "I'd better order some business cards to find out if I'm 'essential.'" The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, order some new business cards for me." Carol replies, "Ooh. No can do. But you can borrow some of mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #changing, #job titles, #non technical, #sec group, #second class citizens

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The Boss says, "Tina, we're changing the job titles of all non-technical people." The Boss says, "Collectively, you'll be known as our S.C.C. Group." Tina says, "I like the sound of it - very dignified. We were beginning to feel like second class citizens. What's SCC stand for?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach morons, #high level jobs, #addicted to wagging, #ear clokwise, #tongue in

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Dogbert stands on Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I'm going to teach morons how o get high-level jobs." Dilbert says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "I'm addicted to wagging." Dogbert's tail wags. Dilbert says, "Carry on." Dogbert stands in front of three messy men with vacant eyes. They all have their tongues out. Dogbert says, "Now turn your ear clockwise to get your tongue back in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #employee skills, #database, #moving everyone, #jobs, #laughed fuzzy

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Caption "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a conference table with Wally and Asok. Catbert says, "I'm starting an employee skills database." Asok raises his hand and says, "Question: Is this the first step in moving everyone to jobs they don't want?" Catbert says, "No, no, no..... The first step was when I laughed myslef fuzzy thinking about it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #abuse of coworkers, #counsel, #alter personality, #talking, #dna changing, #tingle

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Alice is at her computer and the boss says: "Alice, I've been asked to counsel you about your abuse of co-workers." The boss says: "The theory is that I can alter your personality by talking to you." Alice grinds her teeth and shakes her fists in the air while the boss says: "If you feel a tingle, that's probably your DNA changing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outside jobs, #control my life, #control what i think, #evil hr director

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Catbert the Evil HR Director says to Asok, "You need my approval for any outside jobs." Asok replies, "Oh, my...I have the sudden realization that you control my entire life." Asok continues, "But you can't control what I think!" Catbert continues to read without responding.