Close Eyes Comic Strips - Page 2

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227 Results for Close Eyes

View 11 - 20 results for close eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Close Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags copyright & trademark, farmers & farm workers, violates patents, close compnay, lawyer, off grid, legal

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Lawyer: Our new product violates 70 Google patents, 14 Apple patents, 52 Oracle patents, and 37 Microsoft patents. There is no hope. I recommend that we close the company and become farmers. Boss: I need a lawyer with more fight in him. Lawyer: I'm off the grid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags car, dating, eyes, lucky, relationships

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags note, Dilbert, potato, glasses, eyes, contact, lenses, reference, Dogbert, lady di, witch, witch's curse

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The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, senator, appreciate, close, vote, senate, Political, committee, Dogbert, blind, faith, system, whiskey

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own a senator, what are you going to do with him?" Dogbert says, "He'll appreciate in value when a close vote comes up in the Senate. Then I'll sell him to a political action committee." Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my blind faith in the system." Dogbert says, "He's hungry. Do we have any whiskey?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags autumn, Dogbert, night, Dilbert, eyes, moon, mystery, magic, lips, earthworms, hideous, red, sidewalk, rain, storm, home, kiss, worms

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Dilbert sits on a couch holding hands with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your eyes are like the moon on an autumn night, full of mystery and magic." Dilbert continues, "Your lips are like earthworms, painted a hideous red and caught on the sidewalk during a rainstorm." Dilbert arrives at home with bruises on his face and broken glasses. Dogbert asks, "Home early?" Dilbert replies, "At least I didn't have to kiss the worms."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags imagine, being a woman, men in training, people acknowledge, can't find keys, blouse falls off, distorted view, misogyny

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"In this sensitivity excercise, close your eyes and imagine how it feels to be a woman." "People acknowledge my existence. They smile for no reason and hold hte door open. I'm ...I'm popular." "I can't find my keys." "I'm never going back. I can't. I won't." "My blouse falls to the floor..." "Break! Break!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, filberts cubcile, big eyes, interested

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Ratbert: "I discovered I can look interested in what people say by making my eyes big." "Go ahead - say something. I'm ready." Dilbert: "I'm trying to get some work done here." Ratbert: "Work, you say? Very interesting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, hr director, new org chart, so close, too bad, play before firing, downsized

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Catbert stands on a cubicle wall waving a document. Catbert says to Alice, "Here's the new org chart. Maybe you're on it and maybe not." Alice jumps up and tries to reach the sheet as Catbert holds it out of reach. Catbert taunts, "Ooh! Nice try! So close. Too bad." Catbert ties the chart to a string and dangles it into the cubicles. Wally and Alice lunge for it. Catbert says, "It's fun to play with them before downsizing them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business plan, start up, provide venture capital, lost of media, afraid of dogs, media hype, greeting investors, prospectus

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Dogbert, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dogbert says, "The business plan for your start-up is idiotic but I'm going to provide the venture capital funding anyway." Dogbert continues, "We'll generate lots of media hype, go public and make millions by shafting greedy and ignorant investors." Dogbert continues, "The Latin word for 'close your eyes and open your mouth' is 'prospectus.'" Wally says, "This is exactly why I'm afraid of dogs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer screen, drivers side window, interpersonal skills, stupid person, windshield gone, without rolling eyes, yugo

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Dogbert sits on a stool and Dilbert sits in a chair. Dogbert says, "This lesson in interpersonal skills involves listening to a stupid person without rolling your eyes." A man says, "My computer screen says, 'Press any key to continue.' Can I borrow your keys? Mine are locked in my Yugo." Dilbert covers his eyes and thinks, "Must focus . . . Must . . . Focus . . ." The man says, "I could break the driver's side window . . . But it's bad enough that the windshield is gone."