Search Results for "club"
Share January 18, 2012's comic on:
Wally: A tiny flying unicorn gave me this key. Guard: Grab a snout and a hat. We're just about to manipulate the commodities market. Wally: Is it my imagination or everything a little bit better here?
Share August 07, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits on a weight lifting bench holding dumbells. Dilbert thinks, "The experts used to say you should exercise every day." Dilbert thinks, "Now they think twenty minutes every other day is just as good." Dilbert collapses onto the bench and thinks, "My strategy of five minutes a month is looking pretty clever."
Share July 14, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk chair counting money. Dilbert says, "It looks like sales of the 'Dogbert Joggerobic Carpet Patch' are brisk." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, and I'm looking to expand." Dogbert continues, "Ratbert is busy researching new product concepts for the carpet patch." Ratbert holds the carpet patch on his head and thinks, "Carpet Club for Men."
Share August 27, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert points to a visual aid and says, "The fishbone diagram helps identify the root cause of problems." Dilbert continues as three Elbonians listen, "In your case, the root problem seems to be that you're a nation of imbeciles . . ." An Elbonian says, "True, but YOU'RE the one who had to draw a dead fish to figure it out." Another man says, "You're in the club! Here's your hat."
Share November 19, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer when the phone rings. Dilbert's mom is on the other end. She is sitting in a chair with an open laptop with Dilbert's face on the screen. She says, "I've been watching you through your web cam and I don't think you're working hard enough." (With the emphasis on "much"...) She says, "Well, there wasn't much of a fire wall. I'm using your mail server to spam my mahjongg club."
Share May 07, 2001's comic on:
The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."
Share September 04, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Tina approaches and says, "I'm signing up people for the mandatory mouse training club." Tina continues, "I see you're using a Western grip. That's just begging for carpal tunnel." Tina grabs Dilbert's wrist and says, "Weak muscles... I'll put you in the two- handed mouse class." Dilbert responds, "Ouch."
Share July 22, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."
Share January 04, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's society for people who always make bad decisions." Dogbert says, "I'd like to thank each of you for choosing the platinum stain protection plan with your membership dues." Dogbert says, "If your reputations gets stained by being in this group, the brochure will teach you how grow a mustache disguise." <Man says, "What if I already have one?"
Share September 19, 2014's comic on:
Tina: You have been named one of the sexiest engineers in the world. At the risk of sounding unkind, the competition was not fierce. Dilbert: I'm one of the sexiest engineers in the world. Wally: Welcome to the club.