Cocky Squirrel Comic Strips - Page 2
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37 Results for Cocky Squirrel
View 11 - 20 results for cocky squirrel comic strips. Discover the best "Cocky Squirrel" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 21,
2008
Tags tool belt, wear, date, squirrel satellite dish, user
Transcript
woman: "Dilbert, when you come over tonight, wear your toolbelt." Dilbert says, "Because it's sexy?" woman: "That would be between you and the squirrel that keeps chewing the cable from my satellite dish."
Wednesday July 09,
2008
Tags dead squirrel, insulting, knitting sweater, makeup, meeting, no potential benefit, time management, time management expert, woman as example, hideous outfit, business
Transcript
Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."
Tuesday March 16,
2010
Tags meeting, coworker, software, product, sitting, technical issue, understand, terms, comprehension level, human, squirrel, anvil, awkward, community college, business, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, explain to Logan the technical issue in terms he can understand." Dilbert says, "Sure. What's his comprehension level? Are we talking human, squirrel or anvil?" The Boss says, "Which one am I?" Dilbert says, "Don't make this awkward." The Boss says, "Did the squirrel go to a community college?"
Monday April 12,
2010
Tags nose job, health insurance, surgery, cloth over nose, good deal, veterinarian, dog nose, squirrel, medical
Transcript
Asok says, "Our health plan doesn't cover nose jobs, so I used the market system to bargain for a good deal." Asok says, "I learned that a veterinarian is just like a doctor, but cheaper." Asok says, "Do you smell a squirrel?"
Sunday October 19,
2008
Tags idea squirrel, steals your ideas, treats you like a nut, tackle him, boss office, squirrel, great ideas
Transcript
Asok says, "Anyway, that's what I think should be done." Dilbert says, "IDEA SQUIRREL!" Asok says, "WHAT? WHAT?" Dilbert says, "The idea squirrel steals your ideas and treats you like a nut for saying they were yours!" Asok says, "What do I do now?" Dilbert says, "Your only hope is to tackle him before he gets to our boss's office." Asok says, "GAAA!!!" The Idea Squirrel says, "Grrr..." Someone says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Why is the squirrel that always has great ideas fighting with that nut?"
Friday August 17,
2007
Tags too much work, solution, coffee swilling squirrel, work faster, time stands still, slow, too lsow, hyper
Transcript
The Boss: Carol, I give you far too much work, Theres only one solution. I hired a coffee swilling beaver to show you how to work faster. Squirrel: when I watch you, its as if time stands still.
Sunday July 25,
2004
Tags vp marketing, saturate airwaves, as campiagn, talking squirrel, fake accent, complete fraud, pack up desk, ruin everything
Transcript
The boss: Our Vp of marketing here to describe our new bet the company strategy. we'll saturate the airwaves with an ad campaign featuring a talking squirrel. He'll have a face norwegian accent like, "Geeve me zee nuts" ha ha! Any questions? Yes, you with the strange ghead, Dilbert: How will a talking squirrel make people but our products? I just realized Ima complete fraud, I'll pack up my desk and leave immediately. The Boss: can we get through one meeting without you ruining everything?
Friday August 16,
2013
Tags cruelty, grades, managers & supervisors, small animal snuff film, sociopath module, punch a squirrel, extra credit, coffee pot, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.
Friday September 13,
2013
Tags correspondence, rodents, dilbert seeks asylum at elbonia's embassy, embassy, Peanut, squirrel, secret message
Transcript
Dilbert seeks asylum at Elbonia's embassy Elbonian: We don't have a lot of fancy technology in our embassy. If you want to send a message to the outside world, carve it on a peanut and give it to a squirrel. Dilbert: The squirrel would eat the peanut. Elbonian: Wow! You do not trust squirrels.
Monday February 23,
2015
Technical Analysis
Tags Advice, bad advice, investing, stock market, stocks, squirrel sitting, clown shoulder, technical analysis, money
Transcript
Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.
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