Coffeee Filter Comic Strips - Page 2

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23 Results for Coffeee Filter

View 11 - 20 results for coffeee filter comic strips. Discover the best "Coffeee Filter" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exhibitions, #honesty, #relations between the sexes, #chat me up, #mammary filter, #trade show, #free stuff, #job orders

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At the trade show Woman says, "Are you actually interested in this product or are you just trying to chat me up?" Dilbert says, "The show is too big to see everything, so I use a mammary filter to decide who I talk to." Woman says, "You use a what?" Dilbert says, "Do you have any free stuff or job offers?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #balsting music, #musical choices, #psychopath, #egocentric antisocial behavior, #misguided attempt, #cognitive dissonance, #filter perceptions

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Dilbert: Excuse me. May I ask a question? You're blasting your music while your window is open, so Im wondering.... are you thinking that the people around you are enjoying your musical choices? Or are you a psychopath, prone y to ego centri , antisociale behavior? Or is it a sdeaspartae misguided attempt to improve your odds f finding a mate? Its actually a simple case of peer imitation and cognitive dissonance that causes me to selective filter my perceptions. I like that song. Great! Now I suddenly hate it! You ruined everything!

Astrology Filter

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Astrology Filter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #Astrology, #business, #incoherent, #sense, #strategic, #technology

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dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #discussion, #internet & world wide web, #humor consultant, #have more fun, #internet access to entertainment, #funny comment

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Boss: I hired a humor consultant to teach us how to have more fun at work. Dilbert: Does he cancel out the consultant you hired to filter our Internet access to entertainment? Wally: That was a funny comment. How'd you do that without a consultant?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffeee iv, #exercise, #given up sleep, #nutrition, #intravenous, #caffeine, #main line java, #health

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Dilbert: Hows the job going, Anne? Anne: Musch better, now that Ive given up sleep, exercise and nutrition in favor of coffee. Dilbert: Any adverse effects? Anne: This is the aorta of the last person who asked me that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fertility drugs in coffeee, #bloated, #hoagie, #evidence of pregnancy, #weight gain

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Alice and a bloated Dilbert sitting at a table with meals. Dilbert says, "I've been eating like crazy since Dogbert put the fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert pats his bloated belly and continues, "I'm guessing I have ten or fifteen babies in there. It's hard to keep them fed." Alice says, "And your only evidence of pregnancy is weight gain?" As Dilbert lifts a sandwich to his mouth, he says, "Here comes another hoagie, kids!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #d chop, #television, #feel safer, #screens, #violent shows, #news, #Sports, #dramas, #sexual innuendo, #comedy commercials, #weather reports, #tornado rips, #Entertainment

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert holds a device and says, "I call my invention the D-Chip Television Filter." Dogbert says, "I feel safer already." Dilbert explains, "It screens out any show with violence." Dogbert replies, "There goes the news, sports and dramas." Dilbert says, "It also gets rid of shows that feature dishonesty or sexual innuendos." Dogbert says, "Goodbye comedy and commercials." Dilbert says, "Let's hook it up." Dilbert sits on the couch holding the remote control and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert looks at the television and says, "All we're getting is weather reports." The newscaster says, "A huge tornado ripped through a . . ." There is a beep and then only static. Dilbert says, "It works! The evil can't get to us now, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Unhook that #!*% thing or I'll rip off your leg and beat you to death with it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinner date, #interesting story, #self aware, #build an army, #killer robots

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A woman says, "Tell me an interesting story." Dilbert says, "Our spam filter became self-aware and ordered us to build an army of killer robots. My coworker, Alice, punched them all to death." The woman says, "I'm not even in that story."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #woman, #insane, #crazy, #dating, #weird, #relationships

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Dilbert says, "Hi. My name is?" Woman says, "Whoa! Whoa! Not in person!" Woman says, "I only meet men through online dating sites. That way I can filter out the losers." Dilbert says, "Too crazy too fast." Woman says, "I know. I'm working on that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #sitting, #typing, #annoyed, #sarcasm

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The boss says, "Our VP of Sales asks that you answer customer questions through the sales reps, not directly." Dilbert says, "Is the goal to reduce the timeliness of my answers or just to filter out the accuracy?" The boss says, "Why are you like this?" DIlbert says, "Should I tell you or the sales reps?"