Commerce Comic Strips - Page 2

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17 Results for Commerce

View 11 - 17 results for commerce comic strips. Discover the best "Commerce" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags commerce, mergers & acquisitions, slavery is illeagal, engineers are free, find jobs, better companies

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Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags commerce, credit, forbidden knowledge, change to dotted lines, made of ink

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Boss: Change all of the lines to dotted. We're not made of ink. Dilbert: Why'd I just get chills? Boss: Me too. It feels like some sort of forbidden knowledge.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags commerce, service business, unmotivated sales guy, slides are blank, compelling reason, no commission work, budget issues

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Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags disgram, shares connected, lines, impressive words, synchronized space, presentation, experiment, disturbing, science

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Dilbert is carrying-out a presentation. He is standing in front of the attendees, next to a diagram. He says: "I'd like to start with a diagram." He points at the diagram and explains: "It's a bunch of shapes connected by lines." He continues: "Now I will say some impressive words." He says: "Synchronized Incremental Digital Integrated Dynamic E-Commerce Space." He asks: "Any questions?" One of the attendees raises his hand and asks: "May I have a copy of your presentation?" Dilbert stands alone, surrounded by white space and silence. He arrives home and tells Dogbert: "The results of my experiment are disturbing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baby cio, meeting, diapers, nature calls, big words, very advanced, baby, infany, genius, smart, talks, business

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ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temp, talking, bragging, rude, mean

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Overqualified temp Overqualified temp says, "My last job was ambassador to Brunei. Before that I was undersecretary of commerce." The boss says, "Maybe the other admins can watch how you make copies and learn something." The boss thinks, "She's a talker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales, price, prices, bidding, bid, blackmail, business

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Dilbert: This is not the deal we agreed on. Man: I forgot a few things on the first estimate, but you need them. Dilbert: I only picked you because you had the lowest price. Man: Yes, but not the vendor selection is done and it would be too much trouble for you to start over. It might even damage your career because you delayed the project. You could go to the second-highest bidder, but those guys would do the same thing to you. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I have no choice! This is blackmail, not commerce! Man: We call it "sales." I'll need all the cash in your wallet, too.