Compensation Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

43 Results for Compensation

View 11 - 20 results for compensation comic strips. Discover the best "Compensation" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #competitive compensation, #competitive means not highest

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "According to this survey the compensation here is 'competitive.'" Dilbert responds, "Competitive means not the highest. So we could get paid more if we worked at another company?" Dilbert continues, "Should we continue working as hard as we can or should we back off to a more competitive level?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad year, #committed, #compensation packages, #management, #stay course, #visons

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "We've had a bad year but management is commited to staying the course." Dilbert: "Question: did you just say our leaders are receiving huge compensation packages to keep doing what doesn't work?" The Boss: "No. The way I said it, they're visionaries." Dilbert: "So ... they keep doing what doesn't work ... and they see visions?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #big business, #executives, #profits down, #increased compensation, #incentive, #feel underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #different classes, #segment, #paid, #relatively unimportant segment

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: I decided to segment the compensation of different classes of employees. "You'll be in the segment that gets paid the same no matter what you do." "I call your segment the 'relatively unimportant' segment." Tina: "Catchy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #interviews, #career goals, #80 hours a week, #below - market, #compensation

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Interviewee: But enough about me. How can I help you achieve your career goals? Boss: You could work 80 hours a week for below-market compensation. Interviewee: I did not see that coming. Boss: Good. I need employees who can't see it coming. You're hired.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #executives, #wages, #long tern survival, #innovate ways, #cannibalize, #current prodcuts, #lose a fortune, #ceo's compensation, #revenue dips, #hovel, #some ideas, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our only hope for long-term survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalize our current products. The downside is that you'll lose a fortune in CEO compensation when our revenue dips in the short run. CEO: Thanks. I'll stop by your hovel later with some ideas for ruining your life, too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #wages, #compensation, #achieving goals, #debating, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your compensation will be based on achieving these goals. Dilbert: Awesome. It's like written permission to ignore everything else you ask me to do. Boss: It's not like that at all. Dilbert: Get back to me when you finish debating yourself.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #pay, #money, #bonus, #denial, #rejection, #confused, #stupidity, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I can't give you a bonus because another division had huge losses." Dilbert says, "Remind me again why my bonus is tied to the performance of strangers?" The boss says, "I shouldn't tell you this, but we model our compensation program after practical jokes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #manager of executive compensation, #plan to steal, #meeting, #back slapping, #pormises, #raises, #ponys, #vacations, #huge raise, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Opinion, #charge fee, #copensation, #idiots, #cost you

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, I'm going to charge anybody who gives me their opinion." "People are idiots. If I have to listen to their opinions, I deserve compensation." "You're forgetting that 'from the mouths of babes...comes...something good." "That'll cost you a buck."