Complex And Useful Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

96 Results for Complex And Useful

View 11 - 20 results for complex and useful comic strips. Discover the best "Complex And Useful" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #many fcators, #Features, #usage, #secret pact, #useful information, #gave information

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "...Well, that depends on many factors involving features and usage." A marketing guy glares. The marketing guy says, "Do you engineers have a secret pact to withhold all useful information? you haven't answered one question and it's already... um..." Dilbert says, "Two o'clock." At the lunch table, Alice and Wally grill Dilbert. Wally says, "We hear you gave information to marketing." Dilbert sweats, "Just the time of day. He would have found out anyway!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #read, #books, #televsision, #Dogbert, #educational, #sound, #pictures, #challenging, #television, #convey, #complex, #entire, #story, #discovered, #scratch, #global, #warming, #poodle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. Dilbert says, "You should read books instead of watching television all the time, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Books are more educational because they don't have any sound or pictures." Dilbert continues, "And books are challenging because it takes hours to read something that television could convey with one image." Dilbert continues, "And books make you think because they have more complex plots." Dilbert continues, "In fact, you can read entire books without even figuring out what the story was about." Dilbert continues, "Now compare that with all the junk you're watching." Dogbert says, "I just watched the story of how DNA was discovered, then learned to bake a cake from scratch, and now I'm learning the causes of global warming." Dogbert asks, "What are you reading?" Dilbert replies, "It's called 'The Poodle Who Killed.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cartoonist, #ceo, #conference, #Dilbert, #key note speakers, #politician, #useful content

View Transcript

Transcript

AT THE CONFERENCE Dilbert: They have some great key note speakers here. There s a CEO....A politician....another CEO...and a cartoonist. Speaker: IN they cartoon, Gilbert goes to a conference that has no useful content. Dilbert: I know guys like that,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #useful skills, #raising issues, #salespeople, #new prodcut, #have a meeting, #oxygen being wasted

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted stands behind Dilbert. Dilbert sits at his computer. Ted says, "I have no useful skills or knowledge. I compensate by 'raising issues'." Ted announces, "Our salespeople haven't been trained for the new product!!" Ted says, "Someone should have a meeting about that." Dilbert says, "Wow, I can actually hear oxygen being wasted."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complex financial model, #lindbergh, #inventing light bulb, #boss is dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a diskette in front of his boss. Dilbert says, "I created a complex financial model for our company." The Boss says, "Let's see." Dilbert says, "It's dangerous if you don't understand it." The Boss says, "That's what they told Lindbergh.." The Boss says, "But that didn't stop him from inventing the lightbulb."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #phil, #prince insufficient light, #spreme ruler, #hideous fates sins, #high pay, #eternal poverty, #useful, #appreciated, #current job, #telecommuting

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil the Ruler of Heck watches Dilbert and thinks, "My next victim." Phil says, "I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and Supreme Ruler of Heck!!" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Hi, Phil." Phil says, "You must choose one of these two hideous fates to pay for your sins." Phil continues, "You can choose eternal high pay, but all of your work will be burned in front of you at the end of each day . . ." Phil continues, "Or you can choose eternal poverty, but your work will be useful and appreciated." Dilbert says, "WOW! They're BOTH better than my current job!" Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, you might want to get in on this!" Wally confesses, "I watch tv when I'm supposed to be telecommuting." Phil thinks, "I hate the nineties." Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Do me first!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inferiority complex, #feel better, #wicked wag

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting together on the couch, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm starting to get an inferiority complex." Dogbert replies, "If it makes you feel better, that isn't a complex." Dogbert continues, "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta take a wicked wag."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourced sales, #elbonian company, #complex technology, #bad string, #call back, #mud pile

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We outsourced our sales and fulfillment functions to an Elbonian company." Wally looks at Dilbert as Dilbert asks, "Um... Are you sure that's the best way to sell complex technology?" Three Elbonians and a pig each are holding a tin can with string to their ears. One Elbonian says, "Could you call back? We have a bad string."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #life no purpose, #scratch back, #service to others, #feel useful, #found something, #works

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting by the bank of a river. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My life has no purpose." Dogbert responds, "Scratch my back." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Are you saying the purpose of life is service to others?" Dogbert says "Okay." Dilberts says to Dogbert, "It does make me feel useful." Dogbert responds "I think we both found something that works."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more useful, #bizarre absolute, #feature

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a coworker, "We should add this feature to our product to make it more useful." The coworker responds, "Are you telling me that not ONE person on Earth will use our product without that feature?!!? Dilbert says, "You changed what I said into a bizarre absolute." The coworker exclaims, "Oh, I change everything you say?!"