Computer Help Comic Strips - Page 2
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1000 Results for Computer Help
View 11 - 20 results for computer help comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Help" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 04,
2016
Boss Offers To Help
Tags #deadline, #help, #manager, #incompetent, #obliviousness, #extension
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.
Wednesday August 10,
2016
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves
Tags #help, #assistance, #sayings, #adage, #divine intervention, #laziness
Transcript
Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.
Tuesday August 14,
2018
Dilbert Offers To Help
Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee
Transcript
Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!
Wednesday September 25,
2019
Curse Of Competence
Tags #computer software, #employees, #office workers, #problem, #sarcasm, #condescending
Transcript
Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.
Saturday February 01,
2020
Let Me Know If You Need Help
Friday January 07,
2011
Tags #computer software, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to help us evolve our products to cloud computing." Dogbert says, "Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud." The Boss says, "It's as if your'e a technologist and a philosopher all in one!" Dogbert says, "blah blah platform."
Tuesday December 13,
2011
Tags #big business, #secondhand sales, #tablet computer, #business, #design logo, #pay another company, #other companies, #watch, #engineers, #degrade, #low morale
Transcript
Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?
Monday February 13,
2012
Tags #hats, #inventions, #brainwave reader, #nearest computer thoughts, #blurry image, #video, #beta version, #video quality
Transcript
Dilbert: My brainwave reader invention can control the nearest computer with my thoughts. Boss: Why am I seeing a video of a blurry image that looks like you slapping another blurry thing that looks like me? Dilbert: I don't think it's fair to complain about the video quality of the beta version.
Tuesday February 14,
2012
Tags #computer, #control computer, #invention, #inventions, #mind, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone, #power, #brain reader, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain reader invention allows me to control any nearby computer. Co-worker: That's nothing! My phone can... Dilbert: I did that with my mind. Co-worker: That's nothing! I made you do it!
Saturday February 18,
2012
Tags #gadgets, #sales personnel, #tablet computer, #prototype, #indestuctable, #crash
Transcript
CEO: Our tablet computer is indestructible. Watch this... Man: Our company is next. Find the prototype. CEO: Oops. Was that yours?