Search Results for "creativity"
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Character
Monday November 07,
1994
Tags #dignity, #creativity, #precious earth, #blood drive, #three pint minimum
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "This job has taken my dignity, my self-esteem, my creativity and my precious time on this earth." The man continues, "You've taken all I have! There's nothing left to give!!!" The Boss says, "The blood drive is next week. This year it's mandatory . . . And a three-pint minimum."
Friday January 05,
2001
Tags #created software, #copyrighted work, #available, #for free, #plunge, #depression, #creativity, #psychology
Transcript
Asok the Intern says to Dilbert, "I created software that makes all copyrighted work on the net available for free!" Dilbert asks Asok, "Wouldn't that destroy all forms of creativity and plunge us into a depression?" Asok says to Dilbert, "Yes... But it is very neat."
Tuesday December 11,
2001
Tags #creativity exercise, #device, #converts air to electricty, #create a missle, #defense laser, #scissors holder
Transcript
Headline: Creativity Exercise. A man stands in front of a machine and says to a group, "Team One made a device that converts air to electricity." The man stands in front of a different group. He claps and says, "Team Two used their hour to create a missile defense laser." The man approaches Dilbert, The Boss, Alice, and Wally and asks, "Team Three, do you need more time?" The Boss responds, "It's a scissors holder!"
Tuesday September 25,
2012
Tags #boredom, #secretaries (office), #mindless and repetetive, #task, #spur creativity, #creative person, #dispose of body, #snide, #snarky
Transcript
Boss: Experts say that doing mindless and repetitive tasks is a good way to spur creativity. That means you must be the most creative person in the office. Did you come up with any ideas? Carol: Yup. So far, I've come up with over seven hundred ways to dispose of your body.
Sunday May 12,
2013
Tags #interviews, #mental health, #creative, #adhd, #dyslexia, #bipolar, #schizophrenia, #creativity, #normal is boring, #turning tables, #job interview
Transcript
Boss: I'm looking for an employee who is creative. Interviewee: That's me. I have ADHD and dylsexia. I'm also bipolar and schizophrenic. Dilbert: Checking the Internet... Well... that's surprising. Each of his conditions is highly correlated with creativity. Interviewee: Are you a normal? Boss: I... think so. Interviewee: Wow. I feel sorry for you. It must be hard going through life without any creativity. Boss: What's happening here? Dilbert: It might be some sort of creative thing.
Thursday November 21,
2013
Tags #creativity, #fear, #insubordination, #managers & supervisors, #stay out of trouble, #business
Transcript
Boss: How's your creativity coming along? Dilbert: I don't have any. Your management style makes me focus all of my energy on staying out of trouble. Boss: Your insubordination is unacceptable! Dilbert: And there it is.
Tuesday December 24,
2013
Tags #electronic mail, #thinking, #lack of creativity, #choke yourself, #creating ideas
Transcript
Boss: I traced all of our problems back to your lack of creativity. You should be creating ideas that change the course of civilization, but instead, you sit there like a lump. Dilbert: I'm sending you a link that describes fun ways to choke yourself.
Wednesday February 10,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #creativity, #consultant, #exercise, #research, #support, #method, #company
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk and says to a man, "This exercise is especially for the MBAs in the company." The man asks, "What's the payback?" Dogbert hits the man on the head with a bat several times. Dogbert says, "There's no research to support this method, but you gotta admit it feels right."
Thursday February 11,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #creativity, #consultant, #intuition, #mumbo jumbo, #quantitative data, #decisions, #assumptions, #calculate, #net, #discount, #rate, #meaninggless
Transcript
A man stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "We don't need any of your 'intuition' mumbo jumbo. We need quantitative data!" The man continues, "The only way to make decisions is to pull numbers out of the air, call them 'assumptions,' and calculate the net present value." The man continues, "Of course, you have to use the right discount rate, otherwise it's meaningless." Dogbert says, "Go away."
Friday February 12,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #creativity, #consultant, #final, #report, #company, #doomed
Transcript
Dogbert stands across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert hands the Boss a report and says, "Here's my final report on your company." Dogbert continues, "I've concluded that you're doomed. You waste too much money on consultants." The Boss replies, "You're a consultant." Dogbert asks, "Ironic, isn't it?"
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