Creepy Business Practices Comic Strips - Page 2
1000 Results for Creepy Business Practices
View 11 - 20 results for creepy business practices comic strips. Discover the best "Creepy Business Practices" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 04, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.
Share July 31, 2018's comic on:
Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.
Share May 04, 2011's comic on:
Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.
Share August 05, 2011's comic on:
Boss: Pete, I'm getting complaints that everything you say is creepy. Man: You seem tense. I should give you the number of my massage therapist, "Rubbin, Robin." Boss: You're doing it again. Man: I don't have an address because he works out of a rusty van.
Share August 23, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Our new vendor is creepy. He's trying to form a relationship with me. Man: I went to your house and did your laundry. You're welcome. Wally: How creepy could it be? Man: I made us sandwiches. You're out of mayo.
Share October 07, 2011's comic on:
Share November 29, 2011's comic on:
Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.
Share December 13, 2011's comic on:
Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?
Share January 15, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Out budget for contact employees was eliminated. We'll have to pay you out of the training budget. So instead of doing the job yourself... you'll have to train Dilbert to do the job we're paying you to do. Dilbert: Why don't you just move some of the training budget to the contractor budget? Boss: If we reduce the training budget this year, we'll get less next year. Dilbert: So... you prefer paying two people to do the job of one? Boss: Right. Consultant: How do you stay in business? Boss: Our customers are even dumber than us.
Share February 01, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Alice, can you take care of this by close of business today? Alice: Oogah-boogah! Work be done! Let's hope magic is real! Boss: We need to talk about your attitude.