Crime Scene Comic Strips - Page 2
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85 Results for Crime Scene
View 11 - 20 results for crime scene comic strips. Discover the best "Crime Scene" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 17,
1991
Tags Dilbert, car, salesman, Dogbert, lying, part, crime, pay, retired, readers digest, special, story
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I quit my job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Because you couldn't keep lying?" Dogbert replies, "No, the lying was good. I liked that part." Dilbert asks, "Was it because crime doesn't pay?" Dogbert says, "I made $400,000 this week. I'm retired now." Dilbert says, "I don't think this will ever be a 'Reader's Digest' very special story."
Friday June 12,
1992
Tags Dogbert, television, cnn, correspondent, blitzer, scene, news, hot, weather, bernie
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A newscaster says, "At the top of the news: solar flares." The newscaster continues, "CNN correspondent Wolf Blitzer is on the scene." Wolf Blitzer says, "It's another hot day on the sun, Bernie." Dogbert thinks, "Show-offs."
Saturday September 12,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, Women, write, letters, guys, prison, commit, crime, long, improve, social life, personals, ad, resort
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the floor and leans against the couch and Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert asks, "Why do women write letters to guys who are in prison?" Dilbert continues, "Maybe if I commit a crime I can go to prison just long enough to improve my social life." Dogbert asks, "Why not do a personals ad instead?" Dilbert replies, "That's more of a last resort."
Wednesday September 30,
1992
Tags Dogbert, show, interview, book, author, unmarried, Men, scum, theory, jailed, crime, beat, system, married
Transcript
A television talk show host says into the microphone, "My guest for today's show is Dogbert, author of the one-page book, 'Unmarried Men are Scum.'" The host says to Dogbert, "Your theory is that all unmarried men should be jailed for life, thus ending most crime." Dogbert replies, "Exactly." The host asks, "What if they try to beat the system by getting married?" Dogbert replies, "Serves 'em right."
Tuesday October 20,
1992
Tags Dogbert, doctor, whacks, knee, patient, crime, society, fault, raise, taxes, feed, poor, stop, nuclear, research, liberal, normal, life, annoying, parties
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."
Thursday April 08,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, suport, heinous, crime, certified, public, accountant, scaring, numbers
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch reading a book and Ratbert sits on the armrest. Ratbert says, "If I don't get some love and support around here, I might turn to a life of heinous crime . . ." Ratbert continues, "Or worse, I could become a certified public accountant . . ." Dilbert says, "Stop it. You're scaring me . . ." Ratbert says, "I'm good with numbers."
Thursday April 29,
1993
Tags Dilbert, television, network, reports, stories, Games, yesterday, millionaires, problems, darryl, brain, crime
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a television news network that only reports happy stories." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "In sports, fifty percent of the teams won their games yesterday and all the players are millionaires - most of whom have no serious drug problems." Dogbert continues, "Our person of the week is Darryl, who, despite his tiny brain, found success through a life of crime." In the corner of the tv screen there is a picture of a man holding a bag of money and hugging a woman in front of a palm tree.
Wednesday July 13,
1994
Tags career criminlas, jail, sentences, don't reduce crime, commit crimes, others commit crimes, statistics
Transcript
"I oppose putting career criminals in jail for life. There's no evidence that longer sentences reduce crime." "So, your theory is that when career criminals are in jail, other people commit more crimes to keep the average up..." "Statistics don't lie, Dogbert." "Unless bad statistics went to jail - then the others WOULD like."
Saturday October 15,
1994
Tags dating scene, reprodcue, cell division, steer clear
Transcript
Wally: I've given up on the whole dating scene. I've decided to reproduce by asexual cell division. Dilbert: I didn't realize that's an option. Wally: you never know until you try. Dilbert: I think I'll steer clear of here for a while. Wally: divide! divide!
Wednesday September 06,
1995
Tags inspirational poster, animal research, beautiful scene, nightly eagle swoop
Transcript
The Boss says to Ratbert, "My inspirational posters aren't working. I need to do some animal research, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Ready!!" The Boss holds up the poster and asks, "In this beautiful scene we see a mighty eagle swooping down to capture its prey. What is your reaction?" Ratbert shakes in fear. The Boss thinks, "I think it's working." Ratbert screams, "Run for it, mom!!!"

