Dark In Offcie Comic Strips - Page 2

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89 Results for Dark In Offcie

View 11 - 20 results for dark in offcie comic strips. Discover the best "Dark In Offcie" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #quality of work, #dark shadow, #stimulates brain, #revulsion and dread, #death relate me

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A woman says, "The quality of your graphics casts a dark shadow across all of your work." The woman says, "Your logo stimulates the parts of my brain responsible for revulsion and dread." The woman says, "ONLY DEATH CAN RELEASE ME!" Dilbert says, "So... bad graphics... what else?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #dark matter, #universe, #new excuse, #a-b test, #hidden dimensions

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Wally: The universe is full of dark matter, quantum strangeness, and hidden dimensions. In such a universe, can we really know whether or not I did my assignment? Dilbert: How'd the new excuse work out? Wally: It did well in the A-B test against "You never told me to do that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #chocolate, #dark chocolate, #think better, #scientific sense, #magical thinking

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Boss: Here's some dark chocolate. Studies show it makes you think better. Dilbert: Why are you suddenly doing things that make scientific sense, instead of your usual magical thinking? Boss: I just ate three pounds of dark chocolate. Dilbert: Wow. It works fast.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #chocolate, #obliviousness, #dark chocolate, #brain works better, #magical thinking, #fad chasing, #eating, #three pounds

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Boss: I ate three pounds of dark chocolate and it made my brain work better. Now I realize that everything I've done in my career up to this point has been magical thinking and fad-chasing. What should I do? Catbert: Stop eating chocolate.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #project, #behind schedule, #dark fast, #death, #die, #medical

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Boss: Your project is behind schedule. Is there any to finish sooner? Alice: Well, in the long run, we all die, so you could die right now and get to your endpoint faster. Boss: You went dark fast. Alice: I had that one in the hopper.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #honesty, #moving, #new offcie, #sounds weird, #real one, #save the attitude

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Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #doctors' offices, #illness, #bad case, #wahtchamacallit, #pills, #doctors offcie, #doctor, #wicked hemorrhoids, #feel like progress, #medical

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Doctor: You've got a bad case of whatchamacallit. These pills won't fix your underlying problem, but they might give you a wicked case of hemorrhoids. And I can treat hemorrhoids, so that would feel like progress.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #job, #steal, #Card, #i.d., #continued, #hate, #it, #friend

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I got fired." Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and says, "The crook who robbed our house used my company I.D. card to steal my job too." Dilbert sits in the dark and says, "All I have is you, my friend. Dogbert?" The caption says, "(Don't you hate it when they say) Continued."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #school, #common, #sense, #story, #clayton, #auto, #mechanic, #cigars, #gasoline, #engine, #lightning, #guess

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Dogbert stands in a dark classroom holding a pointer and using an overhead projector. Dogbert says, "This is the story of Clayton the Auto Mechanic." Dogbert continues, "Clayton smoked cigars while working on gasoline engines. What problem did this cause?" The projector shows an explosion. A man wrapped in bandages says, "He was hit by lightning every time?" Dogbert asks, "Does anybody beside Clayton have a guess?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #management, #series, #hour, #late, #lecture, #across, #town, #complete, #jobs, #cattle, #rub, #moo

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Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He addresses the audience, "Welcome to the 'Dogbert Time Management Lecture Series.'" Dogbert continues, "Sorry I'm an hour late, but I was giving another lecture across town . . . In effect, I'll complete two jobs while you sit in the dark like stunned cattle." Dogbert looks down at the audience and says, "I don't mean to rub it in, but mooo . . . "