Desk Feels Better Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for desk feels better comic strips. Discover the best "Desk Feels Better" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lower costs, #retirement package, #smart employees, #rewrite mission statement, #fit better, #retired by now

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "First, we'll lower costs by offering a retirement package that induces all the smart employees to leave." The Boss continues, "Then we'll rewrite our mission statement to make it fit better." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Our new mission statement is, 'If you can read this you should have retired by now." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #learn take risks, #quitting company, #someplace better, #understand

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Alice is sitting at The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Alice, you have to learn how to take risks." Alice replies, "You mean like quitting this putrid company and going to work someplace better?" The Boss asks Catbert, "Why doesn't anyone understand anything I say?" Catbert responds, "Three o'clock."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pay calculated, #teal, #side conversations, #cilantro, #head will explode, #test theory, #better than hoped, #meeting, #table, #conference table, #business

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"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."

Boss Gets Standing Desk

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Boss Gets Standing Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fads, #desk, #standing, #health, #fitness, #office furniture, #trends

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Carol: The "standing desk" you ordered is here. I scheduled a mover to get rid of it tomorrow. Boss: Legs... so... tired. Carol: Don't slip on his tears.

How It Feels To Never Accomplish

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How It Feels To Never Accomplish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #perspective, #happiness, #satisfaction, #psychology

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Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.

Report Is On Cluttered Desk

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Report Is On Cluttered Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #project, #desk, #cluttered, #email, #lost

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wally: did you see my project update? boss: no wally: i left it on your cluttered desk. try excavating a few layers to find it. dilbert: what happens when he realizes it isn't there? wally: that's when i tell him to check his cluttered email.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human body, #medicines, #vitamin d, #inner glow, #vitamins, #minerals, #better than sun

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Topper. Carol: I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I need some sun to boost my vitamin D level. Topper: That's nothing. Exposure to my inner glow will give you a full range of vitamins and minerals. Dilbert: You're better than the sun? Topper: I don't quit just because it's night.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #language, #best shore, #off shore, #some countries, #better than others, #racists

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Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #interviews, #wages, #interview, #less money, #worse job, #imagined better, #hald day, #next useless interview, #money

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Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise & fitness, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #brain work better, #the ighties, #debunks science, #business

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Alice says, "Scientists say that exercise makes your brain work better." The Boss says, "I haven't exercised since the eighties." The Boss says, "That pretty much debunks science." Alice says, "It had a good run."