Dilbert's Cold Comic Strips - Page 2

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451 Results for Dilbert's Cold

View 11 - 20 results for dilbert's cold comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert's Cold" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dilbert's, #ego, #porsche, #woman, #Dilbert, #dating, #bar

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Dogbert: Nice toupee. Dilbert's Ego: Thanks. It's the, "Roy Orbison," model. I am now ready to hit the dating scene. Woman at Bar: Really? You drive a porsche? Dilbert's Ego: It's red... But enough about me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dilbert's ego, #Dogbert, #numbers, #phone, #female cops, #police officers, #911

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Dogbert: Uh-oh! Dilbert's escaped ego has grown since getting that toupee. Dilbert's Ego: Ho-ho, what a night! I crashed a party for female police officers! I got phone numbers from twelve women! Dogbert: 9-1-1? Dilbert's Ego: They must be roommates.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dilbert's ego, #Dogbert, #pound, #pudding, #faint, #fable, #children's, #story, #insecurities

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Dilbert's Ego vs. His Insecurities Dilbert's Ego: C'mon, you coward. You may be big, but I'm going to pound you into pudding!! Dilbert's Insecurities: I'm going to faint. Dogbert: I don't think this will be a children's fable anytime soon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #doctor, #health, #nothing, #naked, #people, #thing, #cold, #office

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Dilbert sits on an examining table holding his arm. A man with a stethoscope says, "Here at the 'Jiffy Med Center' we do everything to keep your health costs down." The man continues, "In fact, none of us has any medical training so they pay us almost nothing." Dilbert asks, "Why do you do it?" The man grasps the stethoscope and replies, "I like putting this cold thing on naked people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #shocking, #truth, #dilberts, #tie

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Dilbert stands in front of the mirror tying his tie and humming. Dilbert walks away thinking, "What's wrong with this necktie?" The tie lies flat on his shirt. The caption says, "Coming: the shocking truth about Dilbert's tie." Dilbert's tie curls up into its usual position and he thinks, "That's better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #rabert, #mystery, #dilbert's, #necktie, #non-analytical, #hundred, #ties, #brain, #power

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I need your help to solve the mystery of Dilbert's necktie." Ratbert says, "Gosh, Dogbert, most of my work at the lab is the non-analytical type. Sure, I've eaten a few hundred ties, but who hasn't?" Dogbert says, "It's not your brain power that I need." Ratbert asks, "Can we solve this with my good looks alone?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #solve, #mystery, #dilbert's, #garbage man, #neckties, #present, #mysteries, #fuel, #wonder, #times, #apparently, #existential

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Dogbert sits on a trashcan and says to the garbage man, "Maybe I'll never solve the mystery of why Dilbert's neckties curl up." The garbage man says, "Sometimes, Dogbert, life presents us with mysteries to fuel our sense of wonder . . . It stimulates us to reach beyond ourselves to something greater." Dogbert asks, "This isn't one of those times, is it?" The garbage man says, "Apparently not."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #fate, #steal, #dilberts, #hover-saucer, #conquer, #tiny, #nation, #elbonia, #knock, #unfriendly, #merger, #opportunity

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Dogbert sits on his pillow. There is a knock at the door. Dogbert opens the door and an old man with a staff and a hat with an "F" on it stands on the doorstep. The man says, "Dogbert, I am 'Fate.' You must steal Dilbert's hover-saucer and conquer the tiny nation of Elbonia." Dogbert asks, "Since when does Fate knock?" The man replies, "I was bought out in an unfriendly merger by 'Opportunity.' I should have seen it coming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bumper sticker, #cops are wuses, #house, #staff meeting, #tasteless hovel, #dilberts home

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The staff meeting at Dilbert's house ends Wally: I guess we're done abusing your tasteless hovel. Ted: It was somewhat dim witted of you to invite us to your house . Lets do it again real soon. Dogbert: I wondered if Id ever get to use my "cops are wusses" bumper stickers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #job pays, #headhunter, #move, #cold place, #drivers license, #look up gender, #phone call, #man, #inquiring about job

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Dogbert the headhunter Dogbert: The job pays a hundred thousand. But you'll have to move to a place thats so cold that mercury freezes. Man: I'll take it. How bad could it be? Dogbert: Keep your drivers license on you is you can look up your gender if you forget