Doesn't Need Prize Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Doesn't Need Prize

View 11 - 20 results for doesn't need prize comic strips. Discover the best "Doesn't Need Prize" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consensus, #lost and confused, #lateness, #doesn't work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you. we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting. Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #need input, #worked backward, #due date

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I worked backward from the project due date and calculated that we'll need your input on this date. Dilbert: You have me finishing two weeks before I start. Man: Let's schedule a time to talk about that. Dilbert: Sure. How about two weeks ago?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #conversation, #dating, #micromanaging, #boss, #god work, #just listen, #insulting, #insuate, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: My boss keeps micromanaging me. Dilbert: Have you tried doing good work so she doesn't feel the need? Maybe I should just listen.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #penny, #doesn't, #dog, #car, #side of road

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to the ground and says to Dogbert, "Look, a lucky penny in the street . . ." As Dilbert picks up the penny a car drives through the puddle in front of Dilbert and splashes him. Dogbert says, "A penny doesn't go as far as it used to." Dilbert is soaked.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bob, #dinosaur, #exhausted, #need, #answer, #think

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at the table and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Sometimes I wonder how a dinosaur like you can survive, Bob." Dilbert continues, "I mean, your brain is so tiny . . . You must get exhausted just trying to think. How do you do it?" Bob clenches his teeth and says, "Think think think." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . that's okay. I don't really need an answer to that question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #baby, #pregnancy, #maternity leave, #xerox, #machine, #copies, #deliver, #worker's rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Alice, who is pregnant, "When's the baby due?" Alice replies, "Any minute now." Alice continues, "This company has no maternity leave policy, so I'm going to deliver by the Xerox machine and keep working." Dilbert says to a man, "That doesn't seem fair." The man replies, "Yeah, especially if you need to make copies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #world, #news, #country, #doug, #tiny, #monarchy, #king, #descendant, #deity, #head, #doesn't

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching the television news. The newscaster says, "In world news, the tiny country of Elbonia has become a despotic monarchy." The news anchorman continues, "The new ruler is King Dogbert, who claims to be a descendant of the Elbonian Deity 'Doug.'" In Elbonia, Dogbert rides on the back of an Elbonian and hits him on the back of his head. Dogbert is wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Dogbert thinks, "I hope this doesn't go to my head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sharing meeting, #project, #pathetic series, #poorly planned, #random acts, #emotional desparation, #things are fine, #need a hug

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Let's go around the table and give an update on each of our projects." Man: "My project is a pathetic series of poorly planned, near-random acts. My life is a tragedy of emotional desperation." The boss: "It's more or less customary to say things are going fine." Man: "I think I need a hug."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #deluxe, #state of the art computer, #feel happy, #song, #sing a song, #no need people, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "35 inch monitor, 20 MEGs of RAM, 1.2 gigabytes of hard disk space..." "I feel a song coming on." "People...who don't need people...are the ha-a-a-ppiest people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #six months, #project six months, #one month, #annual visit, #doesn't understand, #selfish boss, #impossible tasks, #time frames etc

View Transcript

Transcript

"If I start the project today and work nights and weekends it will take...oh, six months." "It has to be done in ONE month so we can show it to our VP on her annual visit." "I have to know; does it even cross your mind to handle this differently?" "I'll need daily status reports on why you're so behind."